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Permalink Reply by Maria Currie on January 30, 2013 at 10:03pm

My heart goes out to you, it has been 4 months since my daughters death and it feels like yesterday still. Yes it is hard! I pray for all of us to somehow to get relief, to be able to move forward.

Permalink Reply by Shirlee Smith on January 30, 2013 at 11:02pm

Hi

I am so so sorry for your loss. It is hard to loose a child. My grief is still new as well only three months. I know it is really hard to keep going after the loss of a child. I am not sure that I would be able to get through it if I did not keep busy. I cry whenever I am alone. I do go to work everyday my husband is disable I know he has a hard time dealing as sometimes when I call to check on him I can tell he is crying. I was lucky with my daughter she was addicted to heroin and when I cut off all ties to her she called and ask if she could come home and promised she would clean up. She did and I am so proud of her for that. She did it all on her own. The loss of our son was due to an auto accident.  But my husband & I both this he had a heart attack that is what caused the accident. I know that I have found some peace in knowing that I am not alone in the feelings that I have of anger at God for taking my son. I also know that I am angry at him because not only did he take my son he took my brother in 1978 so I just do not understand how he could take two sons from the same family both involving traffic accidents. I am also glad that I am not the only who is tired of hearing the saying all things happen for a reason or it will get easier with time. to me those are both a big crock of crap. I also do not want to say welcome to a group that none of us want to be a part of. 

Permalink Reply by Soleil's Momma on January 31, 2013 at 9:42am

Jason's Mom, I saw your post yesterday and wanted to respond immediately but wasn't able to until today. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter to suicide October 6, 2011, alittle over a year ago. I began attending inperson group meetings immediately and was terribly disappointed to find other parents still grieving heavily years later. It was discouraging to know I would still feel horrible grief for many years to come. What other parents have told me and what I have come to learn this past year is that YES the pain will always be present BUT what you will hopefully begin to realize over the next year is that you WILL learn to live with the sad feelings. They will probably never go away, it is almost like grieving not only the loss of your child, but you'll also be grieving the life you had before losing Jason. You and your husband, have to redefine your new life without Jason. Please do not give up!

 

During the first few months something that helped me get through the emptiness was imagining my daughter being able to feel or see me for only a few moments...what would I want Soleil to see or know. She would already know my love and sadness, but I didn't want her to feel my pain or see how hurt I was. Your child doesn't want you to give up and shrivel up into nothing. It sounds like Jason was a free spirit, I believe he would want you to live life to the fullest. Mourning is necessary but allow yourself to live alittle.  I hope you know you are NOT alone and never be ashamed of depression, speak out! You will be in my prayers.