Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kathleen Jordan on April 11, 2017 at 8:52pm

In reading this thread, I have seen many things.  Since I lost  my Scott, some of my colleagues have become friendlier...One of them lost her husband 20 years ago...she is still single, and she still has many of his belongings. Another lost her husband 8 yearsago, and I have his chaps and another friend has one of his motorcycles.  Another lost her husband 6 years ago and has discovered a whole new world. What I get most out of this is that we all have to deal with our loss in a way that works for us. I know I see Scott in my dreams, and lately, I spend too much time sleeping. But I also go to work and end up having 150 children a year besides my own wonderful, supportive, impressive child and mother that keep pushing me to be alive.  We will always grieve, but in our own ways.

Permalink Reply by Maxey on April 8, 2017 at 6:37pm

I hope your second year is better, Matthew. I am at 17 months, and I find that the second year has been worse. The first year I busy getting my life in order, but now that this is happened, I realize how alone and sad I am without my husband. If you find some trick or way to make life seem more bearable, please share it with all on this site. We need to find a way to get through life without our beloveds.

Permalink Reply by Matthew Dirig on April 8, 2017 at 11:22pm

I hope so also and I hope things get better this year for you. I'm not sure I have the answer for how to get through this without our beloveds. I know as much pleasure as I can indulge in has helped me. I love tv shows and movies and the opera so I have watched and listened to that a lot. Just doing things that you enjoy. Taking chances to honor her in some way helps. I find the most comfort in all of the many good memories I have of our life together. There is a new life to be had I am told. It's hard for me to want one without her, but perhaps I can get around to making it happen some day. I am told it gets easier as the years go on. I hope that is not just a lie because it has to get easier sometime.

Permalink Reply by bluebird on April 8, 2017 at 7:39pm

Matthew,

I sincerely hope that things do get better for you.

Permalink Reply by Matthew Dirig on April 8, 2017 at 11:26pm

Thanks. I do also.

Permalink Reply by Jackie cooke on April 9, 2017 at 2:51am

It was 4 weeks for me yesterday. I to have no money and have to sell our home which I have lived in together since I was 16. I don't know what to do, this little cottage has always been my safe house but now it's nothing. I hate it. I wish I had the faith some of you have but can't Belive there is a god when the world is full of so much suffering. We used to joke if one of us died then they would do their best to send a sign but iv had nothing, iv no children and the friends I thought I had have all gone back to their own happy lives.

I don't want anyone anyway the only person who mattered to me has gone

Permalink Reply by Matthew Dirig on April 10, 2017 at 12:26pm

Jackie,

I can identify with your struggles about whether or not God is there or exists. I guess on some level I believe he is, but I don't understand why he would be so unjust to me. I am so angry with him.

Sometimes I think something might be a sign from my wife, but it just turns out to not be. She is just GONE and gone forever. They say when you go you are reunited. I certainly hope that's true. Like you, I want no life without her.

I hope you feel better sometime soon.

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