Getting through the holidays and my anniversary

I'm really dreading these upcoming holidays and to top it off our anniversary is in January. I lost my beautiful wife just last month and the pain is unbearable at times, I look forward to drinking and sleeping. I know my family is gonna want me to get out the house and put on a damn smiley face and be around people who are gonna be asking me stupid ass questions like "how are you doing? And "What have you been up to"? And all I wanna say is "With all due respect, can you leave me the fuck alone"? I feel some people just want me to get over it and move on and this are the people that I really don't want to be around. They wanna be happy and don't want people like me bringing them down. I really wish that I could be by myself away from people for the next 4 months at least. Nobody can tell me how long to mourn my wife. I will carry this pain with me forever. The cruelest thing in the world is to be so deeply in love with another person and have them die at a very young age. I had big plans for our future especially since all the kids was out the house. We would've finally had our privacy and could enjoy eachother without any nagging kids. I once looked forward to the holidays and now I'm gonna be dreading them.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michael on November 22, 2016 at 1:36pm
Kevin
I feel you. My pain is excruciating and people expect me to be over it after six weeks. They don't have a fucking clue.
Permalink Reply by Kevin Bailey on November 22, 2016 at 1:41pm
Yeah Michael, that's what really gets me so upset, they really don't understand the pain unless it happens to them but I would never want anyone to experience this suffering.
Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 22, 2016 at 1:41pm

I still dread the Holidays after 3 1/2 years, they will never be the same again since I lost my beloved Husband. Just want to be alone.

Permalink Reply by Kevin Bailey on November 22, 2016 at 1:47pm
Exactly Linda! Just leave me alone.My beautiful wife was a part of me and we are one, you don't get over this type of pain. It's a permanent part of our lives now.
Permalink Reply by Linda Engberg on November 22, 2016 at 2:02pm

Yes Kevin, we were always one and will still be as one even though he is not here.

Permalink Reply by Kimberly on November 22, 2016 at 2:09pm

I'm getting out of town...I can't deal with the people who think I should be over it after 2 months...so a road trip it is...

Permalink Reply by ShingingLight1967 on November 22, 2016 at 9:33pm

I am in the same boat.  My husband passed 10 days after our 6 year wedding anniversary on December 15, and the holidays were a blur. It was all I could do to get out of bed and celebrate with my kids.  I split custody of them with my exhusband and so I couldnt get them out of the house for their time with him fast enough.

They left and I curled up back in the bed where I stayed for the rest of the holiday.

As we come up what would be my 7 year anniversary and the 1 year anniversary and the holidays, it's all I can do to get out of bed.

I dont want to be around people.  I know people expect me to be OK after a year.  I am not.  I will never be OK.  I will never be the same.

I am angry and bitter and just want to be left alone.  But I cant because of my kids. 

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