I'm really dreading these upcoming holidays and to top it off our anniversary is in January. I lost my beautiful wife just last month and the pain is unbearable at times, I look forward to drinking and sleeping. I know my family is gonna want me to get out the house and put on a damn smiley face and be around people who are gonna be asking me stupid ass questions like "how are you doing? And "What have you been up to"? And all I wanna say is "With all due respect, can you leave me the fuck alone"? I feel some people just want me to get over it and move on and this are the people that I really don't want to be around. They wanna be happy and don't want people like me bringing them down. I really wish that I could be by myself away from people for the next 4 months at least. Nobody can tell me how long to mourn my wife. I will carry this pain with me forever. The cruelest thing in the world is to be so deeply in love with another person and have them die at a very young age. I had big plans for our future especially since all the kids was out the house. We would've finally had our privacy and could enjoy eachother without any nagging kids. I once looked forward to the holidays and now I'm gonna be dreading them.

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Replies to This Discussion

Kevin
I feel you. My pain is excruciating and people expect me to be over it after six weeks. They don't have a fucking clue.
Yeah Michael, that's what really gets me so upset, they really don't understand the pain unless it happens to them but I would never want anyone to experience this suffering.

I still dread the Holidays after 3 1/2 years, they will never be the same again since I lost my beloved Husband. Just want to be alone.

Exactly Linda! Just leave me alone.My beautiful wife was a part of me and we are one, you don't get over this type of pain. It's a permanent part of our lives now.

Yes Kevin, we were always one and will still be as one even though he is not here.

I'm getting out of town...I can't deal with the people who think I should be over it after 2 months...so a road trip it is...

I am in the same boat.  My husband passed 10 days after our 6 year wedding anniversary on December 15, and the holidays were a blur. It was all I could do to get out of bed and celebrate with my kids.  I split custody of them with my exhusband and so I couldnt get them out of the house for their time with him fast enough.

They left and I curled up back in the bed where I stayed for the rest of the holiday.

As we come up what would be my 7 year anniversary and the 1 year anniversary and the holidays, it's all I can do to get out of bed.

I dont want to be around people.  I know people expect me to be OK after a year.  I am not.  I will never be OK.  I will never be the same.

I am angry and bitter and just want to be left alone.  But I cant because of my kids. 

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