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Comment by Jessica Manning on February 3, 2011 at 3:28pm

I'm only 18-- i shouldn't have to go thru this-- it sucks. CANCER SUCKS! I wish it hadn't robbed my dad's life. :( I miss him so much-- I have faith in Jesus that He's in heaven but still... doesn't help the hole in my heart. Thanks for listening to what I had to say. Praying for God's peace for you as well Michael & everyone else that reads this! God will get us thru--- even tho it's tough!

Comment by michael sandoval on February 3, 2011 at 3:25pm

Dear Jessica. I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences

Comment by Jessica Manning on February 3, 2011 at 2:06pm

Its been 9 months since my dad died. :(

Comment by michael sandoval on February 3, 2011 at 8:41am

I know it it getss old, but I feel the same Jan. I don't understand why it's so hard for me but others seem to handle it so much better. It's been almost a year and a half since Denise passed, and nothing has gotten any easier.

Comment by Jan Duvenage on February 3, 2011 at 12:42am

It is fast approaching 1 year since my beautifull wife passed away and i can feel the dread and anguish build up inside, so much has happened since April 19th 2010 ,the first day without her , the first month without her, my first birthday without her, Christmas without her, New year without her, and now Valentines day without her and then the day she left me to be with her heavenly Father. It's so difficult to explain the emotions and feelings going through me and it feels so selfish because i am still here and She is the one that is no longer here. Her children seems to handle it far better than what i do and i get so upset at that, that i just want to distance myself from them and not have anything to do with them. Life carries on but what is the purpose of it if you can't share it with the One person that is your life and soul!

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 2, 2011 at 12:45pm

I apologize for my poor spelling, I was typing quick LOL

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 2, 2011 at 12:44pm

Michael, I am glad you are seeing a therapist though, does it help?  I feel if I go to won, I will just relive what led up to her death over again and I dont think thats healthy for me....I've been real sick the last couple weeks or so with something thats been pretty scary, I've been told what it is, but just need relief, so honestly, thinking of mom hasnt been there since I'm trying to get through this....it feels like a life threatening problem, so its been scary, in a way its weird though, it released me from the grief of mom, even if its for a short time....I wish you peace Michael....it just hast to get better....not sure how long its been since Denise passed....its only been a couple of months since my mom died...I do get control, but there are moments I really struggle....but she would not want to see me so sick right now, that part I am thankful she doesnt have to....I hope for releif soon

 

Comment by michael sandoval on February 1, 2011 at 11:02pm

Time hasn't done a thing. I feel pretty much the same as when Denise passed away. I know I've gotten better, I can somewhat function. I'm back to work, and stuff, but emotionally, mentally, I'm the same. I'm constantly gripped with sadness that builds inside and swells until I breakdown and cry for the millionth time. Then I come back to my senses, and the cycle starts over again. On average , about ten times a day I have an emotioal breakdown and. sob. I guess it better than 100 times a day, in some surreal way.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 1, 2011 at 5:06pm

this site has also helped me....just the words of encouragement and the understanding, to know you are not the only one feeling this badly....its  hard for one to describe the type of grief they are going through....im in denial at this point, its like I feel she is still alive and just on vacation, I cant deal with thinking that she is really gone....hopefully somehow things will get better, she would want me to be ok

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on February 1, 2011 at 5:03pm

Judy, I also stay in bed alot....thats natural, the motivation is not there, and hard to go on....thank you for your sympathy, and no you are not alone, and we are here for you....please know that

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