Comment

Comment by mercy on June 25, 2011 at 12:38pm

Thanks Barbara and Cynthia. I was so busy I never got the chance to respond to you earlier. Its comforting to know that I'm not alone in my anger and my questioning every decision we made in moms care. We had three options and three different hospitals in three different countries. We thought we settled on the best option and we were reassured time and again that she was getting the best. My hopes were totally dashed and crushed when things went bad quickly. I keep thinking we could have done things differently. Anyway; the fact that we are all questioning tells me its a very normal part of grief. I can't tell you how much your input helps me.

Comment by Barbra Ingrassia Fairman on June 23, 2011 at 5:33pm

Dear Mercy- I also know the anger at doctors...I lost my brother in 3 months,start to finish. The doctors misdiagnosed him for 2 of those months and my brother was at a top hospital. My brother would tell me not to fight with them, he believed his doctors were genisus.Soon it will be 15 months that he is dead, and I am still so angry. All I can say is this site helps me a lot. I look at Cynthia Horacek as our mother. She has the best advice and never makes you feel bad for the things you feel. Thank you so much Cynthia, I personally look for all your advice and hope to have a long online relationship with all of you. We need to stick together in our pain.

Comment by Cynthia Horacek on June 23, 2011 at 2:08pm

My husband had wonderful care; and honestly, the only docs I can complain about were some of the residents (he was at a teaching hospital) who were so arrogant they wouldn't listen to me or him or anyone!  Overall, I don't fault the doctors for him dying, but there's a part of me that can't help wondering if it might have been different if the cancer was found earlier.

Comment by mercy on June 23, 2011 at 1:58pm

Its so hard not to be angry at the doctors. I remember my doctor telling me one time "we are only human". I just pray that we find peace through this journey.

Take care.

Comment by Cynthia Horacek on June 23, 2011 at 1:51pm

Dear Mercy -

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.  We all wonder if we should have done something different, or ignored something, or whatever.  My husband had been in the hospital in November and they did all kinds of scans and more than a few scopes and they still didn't see "anything" abnormal.  When he was still anemic in January, his dr. did another scope to see why and where he was bleeding from, and piece of tissue came out with the scope; he didn't take any biopsies.  But he did send that "accidental" piece of tissue to pathology and that was when he was diagnosed.  I still get angry that they missed it in November, and wonder all the time if it would have made a difference.  Probably not. 

In any case, this is a long road, and a bumpy one at that.  

Comment by mercy on June 23, 2011 at 1:03pm

Cynthia; It was the same with my mom; they thought she would be ok; we thought she would beat it. That’s the worst part, just when you think all will be well and then wham, it comes back and spreads fast. Your hopes get dashed and to me I think the recurrence of cancer is worse than when you first find out they have it. When it comes back, it spreads like crazy and you lose all hope. I know the pain you’re all going through. There are so many unanswered questions as to what causes cancer. My mom had cancer of the esophagus and for a long time she had belching spells and acid reflux. We don’t know if acid reflux caused it or something totally different. Just wondering if there is more we could have done earlier to help her is what drives me over the edge. I’m still praying for the day I will see her again.

Comment by Jackie on June 23, 2011 at 10:35am

I'm so sorry about your daughter. Losing a
Husband is hard enough, but losing a child in the
Prime of life must be unbarable. My heart goes out
To you. My husband always said,"when you think
You have it bad, look around, it could be worse."

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 23, 2011 at 8:06am

im so sorry for your loss laz, so young your daughter....god bless honey

Comment by Lazondral Nelson (Nicole) on June 16, 2011 at 1:11am

My daughter Kashmir died on April 12, 2011 due to complications from Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. She was 20 years old. She would be 21 this coming monday. I miss her more and more each day.

Comment by Cynthia Horacek on June 16, 2011 at 1:04am

I'm so sorry, also Jackie.  What they need to find is a vaccine; the problem is that there are so many different types of cancer that behave differently... it's not like it's just a flu virus and is common to so many people!  But I share your sentiment.  We really thought my husband would beat it; in Oct they said it all looked good; then in Nov - WHAM!  It spread like you wouldn't believe.  I still miss him terribly, and Father's day is going to be a hard day around here.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• …
• 171
• 172
• 173
• 174
• 175
• …
• 209
• Next ›
• Page