Comment

Comment by irina s on July 23, 2017 at 11:36am

yep that what people and in support group tell you one day a time.. they don't know what like lossing a spouse till they in our shoes.. what b.s thing to say to a widow like us.. i can't wait till speed our life to we can pass away finally.. ...Right Linda engberg..

Comment by Nancy on July 23, 2017 at 11:09am

I lost my husband to cancer 7 months after he was diagnosed.  We were married young and 43 years.  I was his primary caregiver and he went downhill very fast and actually became total care, lost 70 pounds, became confused.  I was totally mentally and physically exhausted when he passed on May 10 of this year.  Now the reality is setting in that he is truly gone forever.  I can barely function.  His last weeks are all I think about, over and over.  I am in so much pain.  I don't know how I will be able to survive this.  One day at a time is what I hear......those days really are horrible right now.

Comment by Michael Thompson on July 23, 2017 at 8:15am

Linda, I dont know, but am told by many woman who are in this awful situation, that men suffer the worst, that's what grieving widows tell me.

Regarding God, I am an agnostic, it was my late wife who was believed in God, she was also a non- practising catholic.  We were married 22 years my wife passed away in 2014.

Since the day of her passing, I suffer from anxiety and nausea now and again.

Everything has changed, there is no peace of mind.

Comment by Linda Engberg on July 23, 2017 at 6:36am

Michael,

I don't think men take their wife's death any harder women. It's the people who have a beautiful marriage and are true soulmates that grief the most. It has been four years since I lost my Husband to cancer and each day is not better than the last. The only way I will be able to stop grieving for him is when I join him in heave, Until then I just go through the motions of daily living.

Comment by Esther on July 22, 2017 at 6:25pm

Losing my brother and this is a very very hard day... so much anger sadness despair and no one to talk to about it

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 2, 2017 at 8:20am

Hi Irina,

I feel the same as you, don't care if I die, I'm 68 and hope God takes me Life i so hard, each day gets worse, not better. 

Comment by irina s on June 2, 2017 at 7:13am

I hate waiting too but for me whenever i think i cant wait to be bruial next to him its gets me happy.. i wish i would hurry up n get old faster n get extreme illness so i can be with him. I hate when ppl tell you to enjoy life its so pretty esp in summer i said nope not without my hubby i rather suffer and be miserable and depression to extreme that maybe just maybe i will suffer illness also i don't take care of my health either so maybe it will speed up  

Comment by Fran on June 1, 2017 at 10:55am

I almost feel like I'm sliding backwards. The longer I am without Bill, the less I'm able to deal with things. Things that really shouldn't bring anxiety,DO. I find that  am more fearful of what could happen instead of being more positive. I could always count on Bill to deal with any car, home or technical issues. Now I obsess over it and am never sure I've done right. My adult children live with me and my son is pretty good at fixing things but I don't trust him as much as I did my husband. It's not fair to them.

Comment by Linda Engberg on June 1, 2017 at 8:00am

Hi Michael,

I feel exactly as you do, I am nothing without my Husband Julian, it's been four years. I am sick of pretending to be happy and am dying on the inside. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I hate waking up each morning and know I have to go another day without him.  

Comment by Michael Thompson on June 1, 2017 at 4:03am

A message from Michael Thompson to all members of Losing Someone to Cancer on Online Grief Support - A Social Community!

In one way it seems like 5 minutes. In another way it seems like a hundred years. My days are filled with despair. My wife died from bowel cancer in 2014. 2 and a half years later I remain so terribly lost without her guidance, her love, and what we shared, my wife had a huge influence on me in so many areas. She was a class act, she was far too good for me, and I told her this because it was part of our rapport, her answer was that she knew, and then she laughed. Without my lady by my side I am nothing, worthless, this is how I feel. I know that dying is a part of life, but we never think about it until it happens. 

Since my wife's passing, I have lost interest in everything, nothing means anything anymore.

When im walking our little Yorkie, I meet women in my situation, and they all say that men find it harder.

I would like to throw this open for discussion.

Thank you for reading.

Michael in the UK

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