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Comment by julieann on May 12, 2012 at 3:05am

Hey Philip I also thought about a lgbt forum but then when your loved one dies things just do not seem to matter anymore well for me I just wanted to die as well as I felt I just could not go on without her. My partner died September 28th 2011 she went to bed around 4pm that day as she said she was feeling tired. I said I would finish up the laundry and wake her up in a couple of hours for a light supper. I did the laundry went out back to cut roses for our table then started watering the yard which took longer than I expected around 7pm I ran up to wake her up and she was gone. I tried everything I knew CPR chest compressions until the ambulance got there, that day will always be the day that the realisation of not having our rights came and hit me like a two by four in the face. Not only had I lost her after 14 years I had lost the right to make any decisions on what her wishes were as her parents were classed as next of kin. it will be 8months on the 28th of this month my world turned upside down I moved back home to Scotland as my father had just died as well to spend time with my mum. I am doing ok yes I would say ok. everyday is another day I keep asking god WHY it just did not seem fair there were no see you laters or goodbyes. I would give anything just have the clock turned back that last day just for one more I love you, or see you later. I am back in college here in Scotland hoping to get a degree in counselling. I guess I am a mature student as the oldest one in class is yours truly. It seems to be the only thing that has any meaning for me right now and it keeps my mind busy. Thanks for starting the forum and if anyone needs to chat I am here ok.
Hugs to you. Julieann xoxo

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