Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by valerie cox on December 25, 2015 at 9:25am

Hi Tonya, i am so sorry for your loss. I know from reading that its harder for caregivers. I just started to write to my mom. And its christmas morning, the first one without her and i am in complete disbelief. Getting help with how to cope, wont take your mom away from you. She is still with you in a different body, i know it is not the same, and she hears you when you talk to her sees' what you write to her. There is no shame in asking for help. I understand exactly how you feel my mom was my life, and i dont really know how to start a new life, so i take one day at a time. I am getting help from a professional, and yet i still sometimes pretend she just went to the store and will be back soon.  W e all do what we need to do to cope, but i think you would be relieved to have someone to share these things with, someone who is experienced in grief support. Keep reaching out like you are, talking about it helps, and god, i pray alot. I sometimes read to get my mind off of it, its just a difficult journey grieving. Just remember getting help to cope, doesnt meant your letting go of your mom. I will pray for you Tonya. And talking on here with people who understand is a good start.

Permalink Reply by Tonya on December 25, 2015 at 9:59am

Hi Valerie thank you for your kind words I just miss my mom so much it physically hurts my husband is very understanding he knows how much my mom meant to me but unless you have personally lost your mother you can not begin to understand the hurt or the feelings that come with it I am getting ready to go to her grave site and visit for Christmas now

Permalink Reply by valerie cox on December 25, 2015 at 10:07am

I completely understand, people are trying to tell me to move on and its only been 2 months and i cant stop thinking about her, i love her so much. I will never ever get over losing my mom.

Permalink Reply by Marie Carr on December 25, 2015 at 8:36pm

Hi, I was also expected to get over losing my mum, after two weeks.  It was traumatic, and it took months to come to terms with.  I miss my Mum still and my Dad, who I lost 9 months afterwards.  I know that they are still with me, and have had signs, in dreams, not normal dreams, much different. They are still with us, and contact us in various ways.  I lost my Mum on the 10th August 2010 and my Dad on 10th April 2011 but I know now that they are still with me.  And come to me in my dreams, especially when I ask them to.

Permalink Reply by Margie S. on December 27, 2015 at 10:47am

This is my first Christmas without mom.  I have been sad  and crying.  No desire of doing anything.  This morning I touched her picture and told her "good morning", then I kissed her picture.  This is so sad.  I pray for her every day and send her kisses and hugs.  I wish she is here with me now.  It is a hard not being able to see her, kiss her, hug her, talk with her, take her out, laugh with her, have dinner with her, take her to the doctor, to my brother's house, etc.  People say, "We need to learn how to live without our moms.  The question is, "How do we do that"?   

Permalink Reply by valerie cox on December 27, 2015 at 12:32pm

I dont think i am ever going to learn to be without my mom. My mom was so thoughtful and loving.