Its been 5 months since my mom died at 94 years old.  i miss all the things I wished I would have asked, like "what did you add to your apple butter?" All the stories she told me and I could repeat verbatim I can't remember the important parts. I know I was lucky to have her so long but I am only 49 and I don't want to be without my mom for the rest of my life. I feel because she was so old my grief gets dismissed. The mom I miss was not the one in the last few months, it was the one who was my best friend for so long. I feel like there is one one left to share my past with. I have my family, husband, kids and they help but the last couple weeeks I get to school and hurry home to lay on the couch and just stare. I just feel so lonely. I am trying to deal with her belongings and that is so hard. I have to keep stopping and remember her and her things.

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I am right there with you. I lost my mom in January. She was 55 and I am 32. Yes, I am grateful I had her for 32 years, but it wasn't long enough. Like you, I miss the special things she did and I want the recipe tips too. I am dreading Christmas w/out her b/c I am so used to her showing up with arms full of beautifully wrapped presents, her beaming smile and all our special holiday food traditions made. My kids are 6 and 2 and they are missing out on the wonderful grandmother she was. I am also pregnant and she will never even get to hold this baby. I'd like to say with time it gets better, but for me, that hasn't been the case. Just when I think I am maybe doing a little better, it hits me like a ton of bricks and I am right back at square one. I am still in disbelief that she is gone and that she died on cancer. She was always so healthy and my husband and I used to joked that she would out live us b/c she was so healthy. Its just not fair and I don't care how old you are, you are always going to miss your mom! They made us and we had their our whole life, its just not the same w/out them. I am just coping and that is the best I can do and I am not doing a very good job of it!
Thanks. I joined this group a few months ago and never used it. I feel so much better reading these stories and being able to share my feelings.I feel so much better just writing last night and getting a reply. Thank you
Hi there my name is shelley I must say I read your words and I took comfort in them. I lost my mum in August this year at 73. I am 44 my mother was my world my everything. She knew me better than anyone she was there for me like no other person ever would be. I have four children the youngest 3 and my mother was the best grandmother in this world. I agree it does get harder I have lots to live for but without her to share it with seems so worthless. I suffer like you I have to do my daily chores but cannot wait to get home and be in my own house where I can just collapse to the sadness of my loss. I also lost my dad seven days before my mother to cancer the two were gone within a week apart and my world has stopped, I find it hard to even type this as it is the reminder that my beautiful mother is gone I know she has but denial creeps up. I want to thankyou for your post it made me feel normal when I read it the only ones that feel our pain are those suffering themselves

Shelley

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