Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by anna l. on August 13, 2011 at 1:08am

Im sorry you are feeling the same way as I am, but  yes, I do the same thing.  But I dont get whole days yet, just parts of the day.  I will be busy doing stuff and some thing, or smell or thought comes to me and I just completely lose it.  I have had to walk out of stores with items in my cart because I know when it happens there is no quick stop. 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by David A on August 13, 2011 at 6:58am

I still do 3 months after the fact and I don't care when they come. I called those moments temporary lapses of sadness.  I believe everyone who grieves has them.   Just part of the grieving process.  Take care..

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Adriene M. Peruzzi on August 15, 2011 at 8:22pm

I have been crying off and on for almost 2 mos now. Seems almost like a daily thing for me. I am fine for about 5 hrs or so then I will start crying again. I don't have any other family that is supportive of me been trying to reach out to others. Reached out to a few but I tend to get to clingy and they start distancing themselves. I feel so alone, and like my world has turned upside down literly I dont know what to do next. I knew that it was going to be hard for me when grandma passed but I never imagined it was going to be this ruff. Grandma was my main support and now that she is gone. I feel so alone.I cant pick up the phone and call grandma anymore just to chit chat. I cant ask her what she thinks about this or that. Its been a ruff and tough loss for me. I admit my relationship was not always peaches and cream with Grandma but she always came through for me when no one else did. I miss my grandma so much that I feel like I have to cry myself to sleep at night. My councilor says my crying is just a natural part of the grieving process. I am just trying to be honest with my feelings here I love and miss my Grandma so much my world has litterly turned upside down.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Carmen Rodriguez on August 22, 2011 at 6:59am

I know exactly how you feel.  My father died almost 2 months ago. I am overwhelmed by so much regret and guilt about how his last months with us had been.Sometimes at work I would run to the ladies' room and just start crying.  I haven't told any family member about how I'm dealing with my father's death. I don't really talk to my family about my feelings.  I've told a few friends but they've also distanced themselves.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Amanda Ab on August 15, 2011 at 8:32pm

I have them ALL the time for the past soon to be 4 months this 28th. For me, when it happens, i feel as if I went back to that day on april when I lost my husband and have the same or even worst deep pain and sadness. I just cry and cry and cant seem to stop. I miss him so much. And dont know when this pain will get better, because i sometimes feel that i take one step forward and two steps back.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Adriene M. Peruzzi on August 16, 2011 at 8:14am

I am glad i am not the only one been trying to figure out an appropate way to express my feelings as I stated my friends are tending to distance themselves because they dont know what they can do. Words sometimes are not always easy for me to get out on the spot when i see my friends. so, if one of my friends say I have a min or 2 whats up? I freeze and words just get pushed down even further. I am considering writing what they call a grief letter to a few people. Say what my needs are in the letter and see if that will work. I don't want to scare my friends away,  I know they get busy with their lives too. Just so hard to express feelings a lot of the time.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Ammy on August 16, 2011 at 6:14pm

I believe this is very natural.  Just today I was out shopping and when I was looking near the area where I would look for clothes for my son I teared up.  I also teared up right before I left for the store as I thought about how he would go shopping with me.  All kinds of things will trigger a cry.  It has gotten a little better over time.  The first few times I went into that store I had to leave.  I am now 13 months into this grief and I hate every single day of it.  I don't usually go anywhere, but I made myself go out today because being in the house today was worse than it usually is.  I think your idea of writing a letter to your friends might be a good idea Adrienne.  Just try not to overwhelm them.  People that are not grieving can't really understand what you are going through and most of them feel very uncomfortable when the subject comes up.  At least I have found this to be true in my circumstances.  Praying & hoping for better days for us all.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Micah Zinna on August 28, 2011 at 1:20am

My dad died over three years ago and it happens
To me all the time! Mine last about 5-10 also
And I feel every bit of pain like his death was
Yesterday. I think it is because our lives keep 
going, we get busy and are preoccupied so we
don't feel the pain, but it is still there and always
will be. It happens to me when I'm alone and 
Quiet and my thoughts turn to him. The days are
easier, but the pain never goes away

• ▶ Reply