My father past away November 3. He was my soul. I feel like a knife is stuck in my chest. When we removed life support I kissed him and said I would take care of mom. I pray evernight that he's proud of me and thinks Iam doing an ok job. Today I was almost termed from the place I have worked for 6 years. I am a manager and tried to help several times to help my husband get time off. Had I thought I was doing anything to question my integrity it never would have happened. My dad always told us you are only as good as your word. At 29 I let him down it's so hard paying for their bills and my familys and almost breaking my promise dad Iam not sure I can do this without you. I want to be with you so bad why did you have to leave me here alone?

Views: 70

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hi Nicole,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I too have suffered many losses and I know too feel the unbearable pain you must be going through. I am new to this site but have found some strength in reading through other's comments and learning how they have handled living after such a loss. It does get easier with time and I'm sure your father is very proud of you and watching over you everyday. I understand how hard it is to focus at work and make it through the day, but those times get less frequent as time goes by. I think one of the best things you can do is talk with others about how you feel - release some of that pain with people you trust - consider doing it through this site. Know that many people in your life will not truely understand the pain you are going through - the feelings of emptiness and hopelessness. Sometimes I feel so alone in this world - but this site has given me new feelings of hope - that someday I may be better able to get back to living - that the pain will be less intense. I try to get through each day and find a reason for living my life. The pain and fear that goes with losing a loved one can be paralyzing and encompass your entire life - that leaves little room to really enjoy others. I don't want to live my entire life without experiencing some joy, some inner peace. Give yourself time to heal, take care of yourself, and remain hopeful - the pain will ease with time.
It sounds like you and your father were very close. Im sure he would want you to be happy and enjoy your life.
Although we want our loved one's here with us, it gives me peace of mind to know that, even if they could come back to us, they are in such a wonderful place that they would not come back. They are without pain, without fear, happy and content with the beauty and love that surrounds them - they are safe. This thought alone has given my family great comfort.
Laurie
Thank you for such kind words. You are so right about feeling like others can't understand. I am at peace knowing he is with God. I just have days I wish we could have gone togather. Iam also sorry for your losses and again y'all never know how much your comments have ment to
me!

RSS

Latest Activity

Krystal Swinehart is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Profile IconRoger Mayer and Darnell Hargrove joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
dream moon JO B replied to Marisol Delgado's discussion Hitting me
"its so hard xmas coz our loved 1s no longer with us so sorry  on your loss "
Dec 22
Marisol Delgado posted a discussion

Hitting me

My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
Dec 22
Aimer updated their profile
Dec 19
Aimer is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 18
Cheyenne Steffen shared a profile on Facebook
Dec 17
Cheyenne Steffen left a comment for Paula Mullin
"Paula! Are you still online? I haven’t been on this site in years and just happened to sign in today and saw your message. I wondered what happened with you! I hope you’re doing well and hope to hear from you. My email is…"
Dec 17

© 2025   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service