I remember those who showed up for me, initially showed up and disappeared, and those who did not show up at all. For the friends who were initially there and disappeared, I am putting those friendships on a shelf and those are now second tier. If the person(s) contact me, great, but I have no energy to tend to those friendships. People who are not expected to be there show up. It’s not you, it’s their stuff. I think on some level people treat grief as contagious. Nonetheless it’s best to find those who can relate without judgment. That’s why I am here.