Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Amanda Ab on October 27, 2011 at 4:21pm

Hi, Alyson

I lost my husband on that April 28th, too. It will too, be 6 months for me toomorow. I guess, all that I can say is that the "what if's" just consume our minds so much and unfortunately we no longer have control of those events, since they are in the "past". And we cant change the past or combine past with present. It hurts so much in trying to make it day by day. If he was that kind of person to have forgotten, then you should take those positive thoughts and hold on to those, as hard as it might sound. I am pretty sure, if you would just known what was going to happen, you would have been there, but how nice would that be, for all of us to know what is ahead of us!

 

Take Care, and feel free to write to me.

 

Amanda

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Permalink Reply by Alyson Blackwell on October 27, 2011 at 4:43pm

im sorry for your loss as well. i guess all that can be done is to hold on to memories and try to forget all the rough times. and yes, it would be amazing if we knew ahead of time!

thank you. and you can write to me anytime as well.

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Permalink Reply by Babs on October 27, 2011 at 4:47pm

Hi Alyson, my situation is similar to yours in that my boyfreind and i parted, but didn't want too, its complicated but we were meant to be together but couldn't for various reasons, he died two years after we stopped contact but i was still waiting for him to phone me six years later. I had searched and searched th einternet until one day i found an online memorial tribute to him and just could not beleive that he had died. I don't know why i let him go, i never wanted any other man he was the love of my life, i am so angry at myself for not commiting to him. Not sure i have any advice but i have found a really good physcotherapist to help deal with all th eemotions has helped to understand my feelings better. Its hard when it is an ex that has died as no one acknowledges your loss and it is hard to grieve, for a long time i felt all the pain but thought i wasn't allowed to grieve which mad ethings worse. Sending you lots of love. Babs

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Permalink Reply by Bokoy Zialcita on October 28, 2011 at 11:38am

So sorry for your loss Alyson. Same thing happened to me. My ex passed away on Aug 24, few days before my birthday. She had a stroke and never recovered from it. I've known her since I was 17. It's been two months but still feels like yesterday. I have been getting signs from her and feel her presence everyday which brings me comfort. I've learned the more you suppress your feelings, the more it will hurt later so allow yourself to grieve, cry.. It's a process we all must go through... Nothing else can heal the pain but time... Take care of yourself.

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