"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful.
Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
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My wife's Memorial Mass was yesterday
It was nice to see so many people turn out. People we hadn't seen in 20 years. People we had written off. And our friends who we didn't realize were such good friends. It was a stressful day and a numb day.
But today, with reality setting in, having to accept that she is dead. That there is nothing I can do to change that. There is no way to bring her back or do better for her. Or help her more. Or love her more. Or take better care of her. Or pay more attention to her. Or do more fun things with her and the kids. Or be more tolerant and understanding. Or not get upset at the little things.
That is difficult.
She deserved 50 more years.
She deserved to be happier.
She deserved to be healthier.
And I cannot go back and fix anything.
But today, with reality setting in, having to accept that she is dead. That there is nothing I can do to change that. There is no way to bring her back or do better for her. Or help her more. Or love her more. Or take better care of her. Or pay more attention to her. Or do more fun things with her and the kids. Or be more tolerant and understanding. Or not get upset at the little things.
That is difficult.
She deserved 50 more years.
She deserved to be happier.
She deserved to be healthier.
And I cannot go back and fix anything.
Views: 171
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Paula Marie on
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Jason, that's the hardest part for me, too. And I just can't get over the very real fact that I just can't "fix this." Not this time. It hurts so badly.
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"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful.
Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful.
Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful.
Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful.
Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
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