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Permalink Reply by Cindy on January 15, 2011 at 9:20am

Hi MJ.  I lost my fiance on Sept 12th, 2010,  It was sudden and completly unexpected, he was only 54.  January is very difficult for me too.  I miss the time we spent together and having him to talk to.  I have some people to talk to, but as you say, some don't want to talk about death.  I hope today is a good day for you.  Cindy

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Permalink Reply by Martha Jean Adams on January 15, 2011 at 6:30pm

Hello, Cindy!

Thank you for writing.  You have such a recent loss.  it does not get much better, but I have had some really good days.  I am trying to get used to living alone.  These dark January days do not help.  Sometimes, it just helps to get out and do something for someone who does not expect it, and who needs it very badly.  I found a photo I had forgotten in a drawer I was cleaning out.  Hines and I are standing in front of the Battleship North Carolina in Wilmington, NC.  That was our last vacation together as a couple.  It was priceless.  I love my sweet memories.

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Permalink Reply by Martha Jean Adams on January 17, 2011 at 8:53pm

Hi Dana,

Thank you for writing to me.  I am so sorry for your loss.  It must be really hard to lose a sibling.  I have 3 sisters that I talk with on the phone just about every day.  I am a good listener, so you can tell me anything when you get used to me.

 

Most people do not want to talk with me about my late husband, so I am glad I found this site where we can :let it all hang out", so to speak.  Right now, I am taking things one day at a time.  I am beginning to clear out some of my husbands' things.  I want to keep it all, but on Saturday , the 29th of this month, I am going to give the rest of his clothing away (except for a few sentimental pieces).  Our church is going to help out a Union Mission in Roanoke Rapids, so I will probably have to help sort out clothing.  It is so helpful for me to get my mind off of myself, and to do good for other people.  That's what it's all about.  MJ

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Permalink Reply by D. Stone on February 4, 2011 at 5:00pm

I feel the same way. I think my friends are expecting me to be feeling better by now , my husband died June 22nd 2010. He should have turned 56 today. I can only imagine how you are coping with losing a lifetime mate. We only had 7 years...beautiful but oh so short. I think I will feel a little better when the weather breaks and we have some sunshine, but no guarantees. This is a good place to talk because no one will turn you away. We all need to talk. Tell me about your life with him and about your family

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Permalink Reply by Martha Jean Adams on February 4, 2011 at 5:30pm

Dear Dana,

  It was good to hear from you again.  You have had two deaths to deal with.  I am so sorry.  One was very unexpected, I'm sure.  Even if it was not unexpected, we are never ready to let them go.  My husband and I were married for 47 years.  Still, it was not enough.  My daughter and her family came yesterday from Raleigh to help me rearrange things in my house.  I am planning on starting art classes for children in my home.  I am making my den into a studio, and my office into a den.  I am so fortunate to have my daughter.  This will be short tonight.  I need to clean up behind them a little bit.  I loved having them here.  I hope you have people to come visit you from time to time.  I will tell you more about Hines later.  I promise.

In Christian Love,

Martha Jean

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