How long is 'normal' for greiving over the death of a loved one ?

Anyone know how long a grieving period is suppose to last , normally, ? It's been 16 years now and I still can't stop thinking about my wife everyday, she was my real & only true love. Not to sound mean but when I see a couple together a feeling of resentment stirs deep down inside, and I'm a very positive-minded person, it's just that I'm ' still ' grieving, I guess.

Views: 447

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on August 5, 2014 at 4:16pm

sorry bill i dont no anser i no dr told me it cud tk yrs or i mite nevr get over lozing my dad thn multi oss on top of my dad 

Permalink Reply by Jean on August 5, 2014 at 8:42pm

I don't think we ever get over a significant loss. We just learn to live with it.

Permalink Reply by Bill Daniels on August 5, 2014 at 10:57pm

Because 'she's' not here I refuse to allow myself have fun, and I've not only recognized, but have accepted that I find it offensive to have fun without her being here to enjoy the good times with me. I know that 'some day' I 'may' see her but that's not helping me now. When I come close to what may become enjoying myself with another woman it feels like I'm cheating on her and she's witnessing all of this.

Permalink Reply by bluebird on August 6, 2014 at 11:24pm

I understand and agree. There is no fun without my husband; the good times are only bad because he is not here to share them with me. I will never date anyone else or have a romantic/sexual relationship with anyone else.  You have faith in an afterlife, whereas I do not (I fervently hope there is an afterlife where I will be with my husband again, but I don't know if there is or not), but if there is and if someday my husband and I will be there again together, that's great, but it doesn't help me now.

Permalink Reply by bluebird on August 6, 2014 at 11:21pm

I think forever is a normal grieving period, when the person who died is your spouse/partner and you truly love each other.

My husband died almost 2 years ago, and I grieve for him as much now as I did the day he died. I don't understand how it could be otherwise, for anyone who was really with her/his soulmate. I completely understand you still grieving after 16 years -- if she was your "real & only true love", as you said, then I think that is normal. 

I used to be an optimistic, positive-minded person, but now I am almost completely pessimistic. Why shouldn't I be? God or the universe or whatever has separated me from the soul I love most in this entire universe. I can't stand seeing happy couples anymore, either. Nor children. Nor families.

I am sorry for your loss, though of course that does you no good.

Permalink Reply by Lost & Alone on August 8, 2014 at 6:51pm

Yes you are, and I feel the same way, alot of the time. I have to stop and look in the mirro and say what would my husband say about the way I am acting? I know he is my mate and if he were here he would be fussing at me to be happy cause that was all he wanted. I bet you wife would be doing the same thing, I do not think she would wish for you to be unhappy. Think about it... she loved you and your joy, she would be devestated to think that she changed that.

Permalink Reply by Brenda Ann on November 13, 2014 at 4:38pm

Bill,

     Grieving is a journey that each person walks in their own way and in their own time. Talking is an excellent thing you can do to help yourself but nothing removes the pain.  Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” It is sooooo good that you are able to talk to anyone on this sight - no one will criticize.

Dale and Brenda

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

david karpe posted a status
"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Jan 15
0 Comments
david karpe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 15
Welcome Them!
Sasha Moshko posted a discussion

My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
Jan 14
0 Comments
Sasha Moshko left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Jan 14
MELANIE WALENDOWSKY BAKER is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Welcome Them!
Krystal Swinehart joined Jodi Denton's group
Thumbnail

Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Jan 12
61 Comments
Krystal Swinehart joined Dayna's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Jan 12
1 Comment
Karen R. replied to Entony's discussion Movies about grief that actually understand loss — any recommendations?
"So sorry!💔💔💔💔💔"
Jan 2

© 2026   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service