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Permalink Reply by Eliza on March 16, 2013 at 2:53pm

First off, I am so sorry for your loss. In the hours and days after my mom died from cancer, my dad went in and out of feelings of anger, sometimes directed at the rest of the family. At other times he needed to be alone. It was hard because I was grieving, too, and I wanted to share that grief with him. For me, it helped to try to think that my dad's pain and loss was completely different from my own. In time he came around and we have grown closer in the wake of our loss. I would check in over the phone but also send cards and emails. The cards helped my dad see that I cared and was there for him if he needed it. I hope you and your family find peace.

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Permalink Reply by Bill Smith on March 21, 2013 at 9:37am

I'm very sorry for your loss.   And of course any family loss is horrible, but in my opinion the loss of one's child is the worst of all.  You expect to see your grandparents, parents, perhaps even a sibling or spouse go before you - but not your children.  And sometimes when people hurt, they lash out, or become reclusive.  I'm not excusing them mind you, just something to keep in mind - the rest of the family and friends should try to remember that and not take it personally. And remember this JUST happened; a month is the blink of an eye in terms of time to grieve.  It typically takes many months to even begin to regroup and is different for everyone.  I would say if they want space, give them space, but try to check in now and then to let them know you are there.  If talking direct is too hard, try sending a card or even a text or email (if they do that kind of thing) as sometimes that is easier. 

 

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