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Permalink Reply by Joanne Welch on May 13, 2012 at 3:26pm

I'm sorry for your loss.  It's only been 2 weeks since I lost my husband.  I can't imagine what it will be like after a year.  Hope you're handling things okay.  I've been wondering if I should move closer to family too, but it's too much to decide right now.  

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Permalink Reply by Jo Shnell on May 17, 2012 at 11:00am

I hurt with you, Laurie.  It's been 8 months since I lost my husband and it doesn't seem to get better.  In some ways I think I've grown tougher and face things out of habit.  When I think of it, I crash.  I just cannot imagine facing the future without him, although I know it's God's plan that we live and we die.  I know my husband always said I'd be fine without him, so I do my best to live up to his expectation and pride in my ability, but the truth is I feel like I'm hanging on such a fragile thread.  I know that God will see me through this, but, man, it surely is not easy.

I've decided to not move.  As sure as I'd get close to some of the kids they would move.  My home is where I belong until something attracts me away from here.  There is comfort here, as well as bittersweet memories. The memories are all good and I give thanks for that, but the knowledge that they will never repeat is like a kick in the belly whenever I think of it.

I put on a good face most of the time for the public, but it's not me.  People say I look great, but I know it's a lie.  I'm healthy; I can't die of this heartache, but I hurt to the core.  I guess I haven't been much help for you, unless misery really does love company.

Jo

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