Why cant I have my old life back? When my husband was here. What was wrong with that "old" life? Nothing was wrong, everything was okay. I had my best friend, my soulmate, my first love here with me. He was so carismatic, affectionate, caring, and a silly joker!. We had so much fun together. I could very well be myself when I was around him. We enjoyed watching t.v. , sports, family reunions were a must, and we enjoyed our company 100%. And more to say that we both loved being "parents" to our son, Sebastian. He just loved been a father so much and thanked me for making him a "father". My husband was just 29 years old and it was not at all his time to be taken away. Now, I think that my "old" life was ok?

This "new" life seems unfair, non-acceptable!. sad, depressing, with crying spells all the time, boring, not happy!. I cant accept this!. Then why cant I have the old life life back, I want it back now!.

 

Yesterday, was a bad night for me. I could not stop to cry when I realize that now it is only my son and I in our home. We are now so lonely and without my husband to protect us or give us his love and affectionate. Do not know for how long will this pain last?

Views: 119

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Oh dear, this posting made me cry so bad.  You took all my chaiotic thoughts and put words to them. This is exactly how I have been feeling.  I too had found the perfect person for me, and cancer took him away so fast.  I guess we are all grieving not only our loved ones but the life we were blessed with for far to short a time.  Hugs from another wife without her husband.
You have your son so you have to be strong. My brother died when he was only 17 and he was shot to death and we already had a messed up life of poverty and abuse He left me a niece. He didnt give up, so I won't either. Life is unfair. I realize that now. Life is also short, you will be with him again. Until then, our deceased loved ones have to live through us. They cant do that if we wont live. Evil cannot win, we have to fight to the very end. A negative person took my brother away, but that person cant take away my will to change things around.

RSS

Latest Activity

Gary Ruby is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Julie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 5
Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service