Our 27 year old Daughter is dreading our first Thanksgiving and Christmas with out him.  Our little family of three always celebrated holidays together. Any suggestions on how to make it easier for her?  Even Halloween will be hard because he always bought extra candy and helped with my Daughters work at the Boys and girls club in Toledo.

Views: 204

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I don't know how much my suggestions will help, but I will make a couple that might work for you and your daughter.

1. Maybe the two of you could just focus on other people for one or both of the holidays -- volunteer at a shelter or a food pantry, one of those places that needs people to help serve Thanksgiving and/or Christmas dinner, or organize a food and/or holiday present drive, or both. Try to make the holidays better for other people (if you have the emotional wherewithal to do so -- personally I do not, so if you and/or your daughter don't either, don't feel guilty about it). Maybe take over the candy and so forth for Halloween at the Boys and Girls club, in your husband's name?

2. And/or (for one or both of the holidays), you could just have a very small family event -- just you and her, or include her spouse/kids if she has them, and her siblings if you have other kids, etc.  Just a small gathering, very low-key, where no one is "expected" to be happy and cheery, and can just be however s/he actually is.  If you feel up to it, you could talk about your husband, tell loving stories about things he did in life, remember small moments, stuff like that.

Whether you choose to do some of what I've mentioned, or you find another way, I hope you are able to have some peace this upcoming holiday season.

Every year i put decorations all over the house at christmas, Russ cooked dinner and all the family came over, i cant face it this year he played Father Christmas for 25 years and a lady i know  was upset when i said i would not be doing it this year, she said Russ would want me to do it, i replied Russ would never want me  to do anything that would upset or  distress me, and i will not be bullied anymore by these morons i have had 200 days of it and everyday is getting worse, i now only see people i know i can trust that dont treat me like a leper or talk to me like an idiot, my heart and love goes to all of you who like me are suffering the heartbreaking loss of our loved one s xxx

Wow I could not even imagine some one asking you to do that--I am sorry. Yes, the understanding of this dark life we are enduring is not even imaginable to some. Hugs to you.

Thanks for responding bluebird--some great ideas.  I do feel best when I am helping others. Usually on Christmas Day we went to our Daughters house and it was just the four of us--so it will be small and her husband is so understanding.  Thanks for taking the time for me:)

You're very welcome. I'm glad I could help. :)

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"GriefShare is a church based support group. They do have meetings online, but the usual format is a group of people experiencing a loss getting together weekly to watch videos (13 weeks total) about grief and loss. After the video, we talk about the…"
Oct 21
Natasha commented on Speed Weasel's blog post A Return to GriefShare and a Crisis of Identity
"is griefshare a website like this?"
Oct 21
dream moon JO B updated their profile
Oct 16
Morgan Sangrouber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Addie replied to Kali's discussion It was not supposed to be like this in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Kali I’m so so sorry you are going through this. Grief is hard enough, but going through it secretly, all the while having to continue showing up for your kids, is just brutal. Perhaps your friend was careful to hide your conversations behind…"
Sep 26
Kali added a discussion to the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
Thumbnail

It was not supposed to be like this

In 2014 I met the most amazing man ever. We were both in our very early 20s and were looking for different things at the time. We ceased communication for roughly 6 months. During which time, he completed basic training and joined the Air Force. By the time we reconnected he was already at his first duty station.. 8 hours away.We decided we wanted to continue our relationship and proceeded to cultivate a deeply emotional connection. Regular calls and video chats, visits while he was home on…See More
Sep 26
Kali joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Sep 25
Profile IconKali and Bridget Baker joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 25

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service