Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Shelly on April 16, 2010 at 4:30pm

My heart truely goes out to you...our situations are nothing alike..Murder is something that I cant begin to understand! My heart breaks everyday that I am without my daughter she was struck by a truck the guy was not paying attention when he hit her while she was riding her bike!
For me I dont know how to begin to feel about the guy that hit her all I know is he got away with it and Im still angry!

Permalink Reply by jennifer on April 17, 2010 at 9:43am

thank you ,my heart goes out to you..they offered my ex 15yrs for what he did..there is nothing wrong with feeling angry,somedays i am so angry i dont know what to do but what helps me is to know that on judgement day my son will have justice and so will the guy who killed ur daughter but remember she is in a much better place then we are

Permalink Reply by jennifer on August 19, 2010 at 6:26pm

thank you for ur response,i thought the same thing that the trial would bring some closure but it made it harder and it feels like it happened all over again but if u dont mind me asking what happened with your son..god needed him for a special reason and when the time is right we will be with our babies again..do u have other kids? and let me remind u it was meant for him to go with god there is nothing either of us could have done

Permalink Reply by jennifer on August 19, 2010 at 8:35pm

wow..it's hard to know what to say,we all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes we make cant be fixed..i thought the same thing when i rushed my son to the hospital but they say he was already gone but i would swear he was still alive,it may not help but thank god he didnt suffer b/c unfortunatly my son slowly died and that sob sat there and watched it.as a mother we think we can protect our children at all cost but sometimes god has other plans..i dont even know the truth about what happened to him b/c this man will never say what happened..i was 1 month pregnant when this happpened and ill be honest if it wasnt for the baby they would have locked me in the crazy house even though i have other children,my son looks just like his brother and it makes it hard sometimes,i had protective services come in also,please be careful what u say to them,they r not ur friend and unless there is a court order there is no reason u shouldnt see them,you need them now more then ever and ur oldest needs u more also..it's hard on any child to lose someone and ive learned they deal with grief in there own way,i sugest u get a lawyer also,ive delt with cps b4 and they like to take advantage of people,they did it to me when my caden died,keep me away from my kids when i needed them most but i got a lawyer and i know what they can and can not do,where do u live? the 1st yr is the hardest,each day its gonna hurt more but u have 3 other children u need to live for..dont keep blaming urself b/c u r only hurting urself and ur babies and also know that mason doesnt blame u for what happened,in time u will forgive urself,there will always be that :what if: like i said b4 if u need my help i am here..do u have a picture of mason?this is my caden the 1st pic and the 2nd is my life saver cristian

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Permalink Reply by jennifer on August 19, 2010 at 9:50pm

omg he just brought tears to my eyes,he is so gorgous..he would have been a heart breaker,u would have had to beat the girls away..god bless him..what a beautifuk angel to have watching over us

Permalink Reply by Julie Dolsey-Weiss on August 19, 2010 at 3:36pm

Oh my God! what a horrible horrible thing you have gone through. My heart goes out to you. Your son is with God know if that helps I understand why these words may not help. When I lost my mom i lost my best friend and I wanted to join her and still ofen do. Losing a parent is nothing like losing a child but loss and grief hurt us and changes our lifes forever.

Permalink Reply by jennifer on August 19, 2010 at 6:19pm

well the SOB who killed my son took a plea and was only given 13yrs for what he did..i am trying to get 3 laws passed..phase 1 of Caden's law is under way already,the bill has been drafted and sent to the commitee to be approved,if it is it will go to the senate to be approved..it is a long process and im in the process of going public to get support..

Permalink Reply by Karen R. on August 25, 2010 at 9:12pm

I am so sorry for your loss, I am suffering the loss of my son also, I fully understand. The circumstances of your little boy's passing is horrendous, one of the worst that I have ever heard, I am truly sorry.

Poem about suffering a loss

Unless you've lost a child.......then
Don't ask us if we are over it yet. We'll never be over it.
A part of us died with our child.
Don't tell us they are in a better place.
They are not here with us, where they belong.
Don't say at least they are not suffering.
We haven't come to terms with why they suffered at all.
Don't tell us at least we have other children.
Which of your children would you have sacrificed?
Don't ask us if we feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Don't force your beliefs on us.
Not all of us have the same faith.
Don't tell us at least we had our child for so many years.
What year would you choose for your child to die?
Don't tell us God never gives us more than we can bear.
Right now we don't feel we can handle anything else.
Don't avoid us. We don't have a contagious disease, just unbearable pain.
Don't tell us you know how we feel, unless you have lost a child.
No other loss can compare to losing a child. It's not the natural order of things.
Don't take our anger personally.
We don't know who we are angry at or why and lash out at those closest to us.
Don't whisper behind us when we enter a room.
We are in pain, but not deaf.
Don't stop calling us after the initial loss.
Our grief does not stop there and we need to know others are thinking of us.
Don't be offended when we don't return calls right away.
We take each moment as it comes and some are worse than others.
Don't tell us to get on with our lives.
We each grieve differently and in our own time frame.
Grief can not be governed by any clock or calendar.
Do say you are sorry. We're sorry, too, and you saying
that you share our sorrow is far better than saying any of those
tired cliches you don't really mean anyway. Just say you're sorry.
Do put your arms around us and hold us.
We need your strength to get us through each day.
Do say you remember our child, if you do.
Memories are all we have left and we cherish them.
Do let us talk about our child.
Our child lived and still lives on in our hearts, forever.
Do mention our child's name. It will not make us sad or hurt our feelings.
Do let us cry. Crying is an important part of the grief process.
Cry with us if you want to.
Do remember us on special dates.
Our child's birth date, death date and holidays are
a very lonely and difficult time for us without our child.
Do send us cards on those dates saying you remember our child.
We do.
Do show our family that you care.
Sometimes we forget to do that in our own pain.
Do be thankful for children.
Nothing hurts us worse than seeing other people in pain.