I'm constantly asking myself the question "Who's in charge here?" Is it me or grief? Grief can be so overpowering with it's impact on our feelings, that it has the ability to do our thinking for us. I know that we all grieve differently. Just want to share some things with you all that have helped me along the treacherous road of grief. Was looking at some of my early journal writings and I noticed that I was always looking for a way of thinking around the grief. I noticed that my intention was to write about my feelings, and only my feelings, however I always had some sideline notes that were 'think positive' notes. A day came with the realization that if I wasnt able to let go of grief, then maybe it could let go of me, or at least be a teacher and not a torturer. Grieving is important, but if there are health issues involved a person certainly wants to find a better way. We have the gift of thought. A gift of correcting negative thinking. I don't believe in denial. In grief, we can have control.

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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