I lost my dad 5 years ago to colon cancer. He did chemo radiation several surgeries and fought it for 4.5 years. He was the strongest person I know. I left college to come and help my mom take care of him and my family. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him or miss him. I will never forget the pain he had to endure or the look on his face when he told me he knew he was dying. It is pure torture watching someone u love someone who has always taken care of u to be in that much pain and to lose hope

I know so many people go through this every day and it kills your spirit. I have been struggling with depression and anxiety ever since. The void I feel every day is becoming unbearable. I have been angry at the world blamed everything for my loss sad depressed self medicated. But nothing ever works.

There r some things that I will never forget and that will haunt me forever. Seeing his eyes when he died. Watching him go through several chemos and getting sick later and him not being himself.

Thank u for listening it does help a little to write this and to know your not alone or crazy