So lately I thought I've been dealing with things pretty well.  My husband and I are set to close on our new home on Friday, work has been going well-- all in all, I'm doing ok.  Growing up, I always listened to rock, alternative, or punk music (I still have the tattoos and piercings, and wear my Converse One Stars to this day).  On my way to work today, I heard the song Daniel (originally performed by Elton John) sung by Fuel.  Now I haven't listed to Fuel since high school, but was a fan of them none the less.

My father's name was Daniel.  Daniel Jay.  At his viewing, my sister played a slide show of pictures of my father throughout the years, and the song Daniel played.  I heard this song and I lost it.  I've never been one to show my emotions too much (I'm the bitchy rocker chick) - and I think I just need to let it out and give myself a good cry. 

I miss my dad soo much!  He was supposed to be here to see my new house, to see my children, to grow old with my Mom.  It's so hard to talk to my husband.  He lost his mom three years ago to cancer, and he's not one to show emotion either.  I even went to the doctor who gave me medicine to help me sleep.  I guess I just thought that maybe if I typed this out it would make me feel better.  Now I just have a giant headache.  Miss you, Daddy!!

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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