I find myself writing down quotes that I hear from different people, or read in a book or magazine... and I finally started writing them down on index cards that I keep taped to the back of my front door... now every time I leave the house, I'm reminded that I'm not alone in this process, and that there are other ways of viewing the challenges I face...

Here are a few I found:

"I've made mistakes in my life, I've let people take advantage of me, and I've accepted way…

Tuesday would have been my husband's birthday. Tomorrow is my birthday. But these dates don't matter anymore because he is gone and I am alone. How do I go on without my soulmate to celebrate these days with? We were together for 30 years. How does a person get beyond this aching heart? I just want him, with all of his faults, back with me. He left me on Christmas Eve 2011, how dare he? Now I have to face all of the trials of life alone. I don't know if I can do it!

I feel like a cell phone who has no charger......... My battery is getting weaker and weaker.... Its started flashing a little red light....... Seems like every thirty seconds or so I hear this faint beap .....As  if its trying to say please help me im dying....... But my charger is gone!!!!!!!

Hi, My mom passed away December 12, 2011. I am an only child and my father is in a nursing home. I was extremely close to my mother. I joined this board to see if I am the only one experiencing some feelings. Sometimes i feel so lost and alone.

Just want to thank you for accepting me here. I have no idea if this place can help or not. But I must try.

Ok, so I have been in here since the beginning of August last year. My grandma past away suddenly and I joined the community, because I was looking for closure. Still haven't found that. We were close!!!! I guess, if I did not say anything it would have been like she never went away, that I wouldn't have to deal with it. I did not want to deal with it. I didn't want to accept that she is gone and I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye!!!! Sometimes I don't want to accept that she is…

dear jess,

        You been gone for what seems like forever, it'll be a year the 12th of March. It's crazy sometimes to think about some of the times we've had together. Getting stranded with friends, hanging out in the rain by the river. I want so bad to be able to get back to me but all I see is the emptiness I feel without you. You made me wanna be a good…

I have 7 grandchildren.  The oldest is 21 and the youngest 2 are both 11.  Four boys, Three girls.  Losing their uncle in 2010 was the first real experience they had with death.  It was hard, yet kids have their own way of looking at things and they knew he had suffered enough.  That he was ready to let go of his crippled, pain racked earthly body.  But then their big strong Papa got sick.  The papa that took them to the Provincial Fair every year.  The papa that taught them how to read the…

My name is Vivian. I lost my 16 year  son on October 23, 2011. I am hurting so much and noone seems to care what I am going through. When I bring up my son they want to change the subject which upsets me because I am basically going through  my grief alone. My husband isn't here for me he just pushes me away. I miss my son so much, his death was unexpected. He was sick off and on for two weeks before he passed away. He was going back and forth to the doctor. First they said he had…

My name is Vivian. I lost my 16 year  son on October 23, 2011. I am hurting so much and noone seems to care what I am going through. When I bring up my son they want to change the subject which upsets me because I am basically going through  my grief alone. My husband isn't here for me he just pushes me away. I miss my son so much, his death was unexpected. He was sick off and on for two weeks before he passed away. He was going back and forth to the doctor. First they said he had…

Hard to believe that it has not even been 5 months yet. I cry every day for you, I miss you so much. On one hand, it feels like just yesterday I hugged you and told you that you were not a burden to us, your children. If only I had know that would be the last time I touched you - I would never have let go. Everyday I cry, every day I replay the call I got that told me you were gone. Every day I remember that last day when you did not want me to leave. It is so hard some days to even put one…

For those who don't know me, my name is Adam. My mother died seven months ago after fighting breast and bone cancer for ten years. I took care of her for most of that time and when she passed it took a deep emotional toll on me as well as my marriage and school efforts. During the time I was caring for her I was trying to attend nursing school and wasn't able to focus well and ended up failing the program. I became very cold and distant and ceased to care for myself or my marriage as I…

Time is passing by and it seems to hurt a lot more than in the beginning. At the beginning I was in so much shock that I could not believe Danny was taken away. His life was taken. He was killed. Now, 9 months later, instead of feeling a bit better, I just feel worser and worser. It feels as if reality is sinking in harder. The reality that he is not coming back home. The reality that I no longer have him here with me and by my side during nights or in the mornings when I wake up. Reality…

 It's been almost 7 months since I lost my Mom. Sometimes I still can't believe I haven't talked with her in so long, and that I never will again. Being so far from home has made it easier to pretend that she's back home and fine. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept that she's really gone forever. I feel like my life is still on pause and I have no idea where to go from here.I wish I could talk to my Mom about this. She always knew what to say.

 I still have a lot of…

A year ago last night, is when my life officially changed. The night I got a phone call that Dad was in the hospital.. collasped. No one would tell me how he was or if he'd be ok. Fly out on the next flight. I didnt' know how I would feel last night.. but I remembered more than I thought I would.  More than I wanted to.  It was like reliving that horrible night all over again. Then I didn't know that that would be the last month I would have with him. That for 2 weeks he was fine, and that 2…

It is so difficult to see another piece of history end. Waves of the past keep flowing over me. Memories. . . such good times. . . our friend Jackie will be missed as is her sister Paula each and every day.  Thank you, Jackie for remembering everything about me and all your smiles and hugs and always putting Jehovah first. It will be wonderful seeing you and Paula and making new forever memories together.

So, I've never written a blog before, never felt like I had much to say. I guess I still don't have much to say, but I have always written in journals and things like that to help me through tough situations. So I think I will use this blog to document my healing progress.

It has been exactly 8 months, 2 weeks, 1 day, 2 hours and 51 minutes since my best friend Nathanial Cavalenes passed away in his sleep. In all that time, I figured I should be okay by now. But I'm not. Far…