So, my dad passed on April 23rd...I`m getting married August 4th. We have a cottage on an Island ( which my dad`s father built in the 50s) and this place was my dad`s favorite place ever. He lived to go up there on summer weekends...he would even stay weeks up there. This place is so special and reminds me of my dad. One of the main reasons why I am getting married up there is because of my dad. Now my dad is gone...and I have to continue the wedding ( less than 3 months away)...It doesnt…

In less than twelve months I have lost my mother, grandfather, performed cpr on a friend's father who died in my hands. I recently graduated the police academy and was looking forward to rejoining my wife in Denton where we had decided to make a new start. I was greeted with her request for a divorce. Now I find myself almost back where I started with this whole process. People tell me to get back out there and do things and that things could always be worse but I dread to think what else…

I don't really know where to head from here or if this will work for me. But I have to try. The loss of my Mother becomes so grate that weather i'm just relaxing or at work I drift back to it. I really don't know what triggers it but I drift back....to when she was alive and I had to take care of her. The Cancer ate away at her so quickly this time...I felt like when she wasn't sleeping she was always in pain. We had to give her medication every couple of hours...We would sometimes even have…

I wish I could claim perfection. The love of my life wasn't perfect - and neither was I. As I close in on 6 months without him, I keep dealing with his legacy of imperfect people. I hate it. Imperfect people come at me each day - needing things - and I come up empty. Maybe I can help - and maybe I can't. 

With him, I was the strong one. In many places in my life, I had to be the strong one. I'm not feeling very strong now. I keep hoping and praying I can just be - and not have…

It is so hard to begin. Grief it seems is taking over my life. I have been holding my breath unconsciously for four years now. I don't want to give in to the grief for fear if I do it will all be true and I will disappear. Four years ago my younger sister died quite suddenly. She was 10 years younger then me, and we were estranged 14 months at the time, for a misunderstanding that never got resolved. I had therapy and was making some progress when my mother died two years later. Eight months…

I joined this page not too long ago as a saving grace to my broken heart and it was exactly that. I met some amazing ppl that prove I was not going through this alone and that every emotion I was feeling didn't make me weak or evil or crazy. I still miss him every second of the day, but for now daily life has kept me extremely busy. My 8-5 job has picked up again and so has my photography so…

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I found him dead a week ago.  Seven days, sometime between midnight and 3 am.  He died, slipped away, passed into rest, but left me here.  How can a parent slip out so quietly?

The death of Dad was a stunner.  How can that poor body hold so immense a thing as death?  And now, I'm supposed to let go of him?  How?

No friends, or family had any reason to suspect he would leave so unexpectedly.  Its true he was 71, but thats not so old today.  I know he had…

We should have had a house filled with pictures of us.

We should have had more laughter.

We should have had more smiles.

We should have had more days.

We should have had more special times together.

We should have had more together.

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I want to keep track of what transpired over the last 6 weeks, so that I don't forget any of it.

April 2, 2012.. Mom goes into the hospital, the ER infact and waits until 9 pm to be admitted. Around 11pm the Doctor comes into her room and tells her, myself and my step dad she has a purforrated bowel and needed emergency surgery.

April 3, 2012. . Just after midnight, mum has emergency surgery. . She'd have a colstomy bag the rest of her life. Around 3:30 I go…

On April 27th 2012 I lost my Boyfriend/Fiance of 7 years.  I found him dead on his boat.  I have never felt such pain in my life. I felt as if the ground was pulled from under me and as if my heart has been ripped out.  I never knew such pain and sorrow existed.  He was the one man that truly got me and with whom I could be my true self with.  He loved me so much and this made me feel so special.  Everyday is a struggle. One of the worst things is not being able to pick up the phone and call…

I lost my husband 16 months ago. I have now come to realise that I never grieved our mourned for him. I knew he was going to die early, from the time we met, as he was chronically ill, and I had convinced myself that I was prepared to deal with the loss. We have a 6 year old daughter, who is the love of my life. In knowing he was going to die, I moved away from him, for the last 6 months. I put this decision down to survival. I thought being settled in a new (tiny) town, and establishing…

Back on April 6th (Good Friday) I lost my brother to liver failure.  My family has been dealing with his struggle for several years.  The last 6 months he really started to go downhill and his health just sunk.  He was on Hospice and I had time off from work so I was able to help care for him the last month of his life.  It was very painful to see his health fail but certainly was glad to be able to care for him.  This event was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.  It was so…

Reminiscing on old memories;

Watching them float like leaves,

With each mighty gust wind dares to breathe.

We can seek solace from the forgotten,

Watch it fade through the colors of the sky.

Tears of happiness and strength trickle down

our window panes.

Let hope conquer all; let it laugh at

Whatever…

1 year today was forever life changing. We were a family and in matter of seconds went to become a widow and only parent to our son. I miss you more than ever as each day goes by. Time has not seem to heal my pain. Things are different and cant seem to get used to the idea that you are gone, gone for 1 year. I had sweared that I could not be without you for a single day, now how is it that I have been without you 365 days!. Maybe I am beginning to believe what you often said to me: "God…

Here is a poem for my beloved Lisa who passed away one year ago.  I will forever remember the good times we shared and the warmth of you heart when you are not sick.  I miss you today more than ever and will always love you. 

If tears could build a stairway



And memories were a lane,



I would walk right up to…