why do i miss her so much..Probably because this was our month the month we celebrated us being october babies together. My mom was my life her and my dad. Now she is gone and I have dad living with me which is a constant reminder she is gone. I am not depressed just sad. I get tired of people saying I am depressed and dont know how to deal with it. Well I know how to deal with alot of things they need to just back off and let me be me. I am happy I am here for dad and I am happy for all the…

It has now been almost 5 years since the unexpected death of my mother. I have been really down and am thinking about going on anti-depressants. I am nervous about this though...I just feel like I need her so much for the things I am going through and will need her in the future. I am the oldest of four kids and have spent the most time with her out of my siblings, but I feel like we were not close and I constantly wonder if we would have been now. I am now 25 years old and just feel lost…

Hannah Kristin Bird

Sept 4.1997 - Aug 11, 2012

My daughter passed away on August 11, 2012.

This is the day my world ended. I woke up in a nightmare that I'm never gonna wake up from.

She was my best friend, my traveling partner, my everything.

She was a smaller version of me.

The day she left. Changed my world forever, my world shifted and I know it's never gonna shift back. I no longer live a normal life…

Hi.  When I was 4, I lost my grandfather to cancer.  He'd worked the coal mines of the Kentucky mountains back before they had anything to protect their breathing.  He had black lung and was a chain smoker.  There were at least 2 others in my family who died the same way.  I remember him lying in bed and the room being dark and he would ask me to get him things, small things like a box of tissues, and when I would come back, he would call me his Little Nurse.  His nickname for me was Little…

My Mother and Step-daddy were both shot and killed in the house I pretty much grew up in on Jan. 23rd of this year(2015). The person who did it has been arrested and indicted by a grand jury he was arrested on Feb. 24th. but he hasn't gone to trail yet. Some times it still doesn't seem real, and I'm still in shock and just want to know why...I know there is never gonna be an answer that will, make sense or justify it or anything, cause nothing will bring them back!! I know it was over a…

Every day I smile

A smile I hide behind

My eyes conceal all that is within

The darkness around my heart consumes me

But when asked, I reply ' I'm fine'

My sense of loss, like a child looking for a hand to hold

My bitten fingernails

The feeling of falling when my feet are firmly on the ground

But when asked, I reply ' I'm fine'

The tension in my temples

The bubbling anger rising

The…

today my doctor and grieving counceiler both came today at the same time. 23 months today and all I can do is cry. I have a frozen shoulder and torn muscel in my arm. she also put me on more pills to help me sleep and deal with my depression, up to 9 now at night and 5 in the morning. I miss shawn so much, its just to hard and pain full to keep going on, day after day the pain is still there and nothng will ever help. thanks giving is sunday and I picked a few things up for shawn then I…

please god don't let nov 5 come, I cant go through another year, please stop my pain my tears and take me to my son.  my tears will never stop, my heart will never heal. and god im so very very lonely. shawn please  grab my hand baby im ready, I promise you im so very ready to go home with you. I hurt so bad, I have nothing left now. hear me shawn please hear me   I love you always and forever   mom

How do you go from being so sad life doesn't seem worth going on one day and the next you find happiness in the world?  I don't understand this feeling.  I miss my husband so much, I miss the sound of his voice, the feel of his hands as he holds mine, I miss his silliness, his sense of humor, even his messiness. 

This week has been better than last, but I know that that will not last.  Next week is the 2nd anniversary of his death, I know it's going to be a tough week.  Last year my…

My mum died in July from ovary cancer.

She was diagonozed Stage 3 ovary cancer last year May.

She fought hard, and showed some good signs after her treatment last year. Late last year, my Dad confessed he had an affair and his gf was pregnant with a boy.

Mum collapsed afterwards.. Dad started to run from home- gf house. He looked after his gf during the last two months of pregnancy, during this time, my mum worsened. I tried to work things out,…

oh god how I miss you, my tears never stop. I want so much to hold you in my arms. I want more to be with you.  my beautiful son  im waiting to go home with you. im not afraid, im so ready. I love you always and forever  mom

Its been 11 weeks now although it still feels like yesterday I miss him so much, i carnt stand it ,this is so bloody hard. Ive just got home after going out for dinner with the kids, just trying to make life a little normal again I suppose, but looking around seeing both parents out with their children and it being just me and my kids without their father was so difficult , its not bloody fair, im so mad that my two have been robbed of their dad, it makes me so f***ing angry, the people on…

How do you convince people that it actually takes time to get past this grief, not their time, my time?  I know some people have walked away because they just don't know how to deal with me and my sadness.  How can I be happy one minute and want to crawl into the closet and hide the next?  I'm living in the house we lived in together for 27 years.  I don't have the heart to sell and move, nor do I want to, so everything about it reminds me of him.  I'm so glad for that, but also so sad.  I…

I'm coming up on the two year anniversary of my husbands death, why does it only feel like last week.  He was my life for 43 years, my high school boy friend, that crazy good looking boy that so many girls liked, but he liked me.  From the minute he asked me to dance at a high school dance, I knew he was the one for me.  I don't think he knew that, haha.  It was another two months before we saw each other again and from that point on, we…

I pray and wish every night my heart would stop, to take away my pain. so I can be with you and be happy again, please shawn hear my crys  I love you always and forever   mom

Nancy and I used to talk about how one would help the other

when we were ill.  When she had her stroke, I was her care-

giver. She always told me "God will reward you" and "When

you're sick, I'll take care of you". I always told her "It's my

honor and privilege as your husband to take care of you 

because I love you. " Well, since she passed away last April

29th, I've thought about that and asked her "How will you

take care of me now, now that…