His ex-wife and I have forged an unusual relationship. I will throw myself under that bus in order to keep being able to love the 2 grandchildren with all I have. I am known as #2, or sister wife. Only to find out that he was never separated when he asked me out on our first date. He wasn't honest to his family, or with me. That is a hard hurdle. I believed in our love story, and still do. I would rather have been pissed at him than to lose him. I still believe in us. But have struggled to…

It was a beautiful spring day, like today. Lovely blue skies, flowers blooming. Why couldn't it have passed just like every April 12th prior to it? But it didn't. By noon that day, the doctor was asking me if I wanted to put you on life support, Mom. I struggled with the decision because they weren't giving me much hope. But you had the final say, in your own way. You passed peacefully before I could even give the doctor my decision. You left as quietly as a butterfly before we even realized…

I haven’t been writing at all recently, going back as far as Stewart asking me to share what “project” I am doing to help me move forward form my husbands death three years ago.  I never got to answering him and many other things have happened in the interim.  The worst of which has overshadowed and colored everything else on my daily journey is they found my yongest brother, 56 years old, dead in his bed on March 28^th. 

I can’t even begin to explain how another…

everyday I ask myself, what is there to live for? theres nothing to look forward to, nothing to smile about, laugh about. I wonder why im here. without my son shawn theres nothing left. this pain gets deeper and deeper, my tears still flow everyday. I love him more than life and I should have gone before him, I want to go so bad, I pray to go. but im still here in hell with nothing but unbearable pain to live with. why wont he come get me? why wont he come to me? why wont he answer me?  no…

It is like a dream… I’m dreaming since 2012. Do you remember that had to be the end of the world? And it was… was for me… I want to come back. But what is real if you live in your minds?

TIPS:

     1) Right away find a place and scream as loud as you want and as long as you want!

     2) Go to travel (at least for few days and you can do it alone!)

     3)…

Anyone else see this advertised on the site and shake their head??   Unless you live in a pretty remote area, you can probably get grief counseling for FREE in your area.......and if nothing else, I'm willing to bet less than $25/hr, and that's IN PERSON, not some skype-y chat or a phone call.  Think before you leap here.

Dear Heavenly Father, please help me , and others who suffer with severe depression.  I am on my knees tonight.  My heart feels like it's broken beyond repair, but I know all things are possible with you, and that a better day is coming. ( Revelation 21:3,4).  But tonight I am drowning in my grief, so please, please throw me a lifeline. Every time  I conquer one battle, three more spring up.  I feel outnumbered tonite, dear LORD. And so weary.  Was I a born loser?  Sometimes it feels that…

happy birthday to my beautiful son shawn, I pray you are having a wonderfull day with grandma. I miss you so very much shawn, I know ill be with you soon, I love you always and forever  mom

So much has happened since I first connected with Grief Support...

When I read my profile this morning, it was like reading about someone else.  

It's been a year since mom died. I'm still travelling but...I've recently come to understand that maybe I wasn't travelling as much as I was running because I just didn't know how to process the pain.

I felt so ashamed, guilty, lost, alone, afraid, angry...and then at other times I felt nothing. 

But...time...hasn't…

Hello All: I found this interesting book on Thomas Jefferson on his own personal tragic loss. 

He suffered 3 child losses and the death of his wife who passed at 33. He never remarried.

Here is a write up on it:

*********************************

My Thomas

Thomas Jefferson lived a great American love story. He was a Burgess of 27 when he met Martha Wayles Skelton, a 22-year-old widowed heiress who was fondly called Patty by her family. They…

We offer grief counseling at 25/hr.  

Grief Counseling includes:

• Private chat sessions 
• inspirational messages
• Skype sessions by request
• email sessions
• phone sessions
• workbook pages to assist with grief recovery
• all services provided by certified grief counselor

You can participate in the chatroom by accessing the Chat bar at the bottom of the page, by going to the Main Page Chat module,…

Miss you so much today, Mom.  There is so much I would like to tell you.  It's Monday once again, a day I will hate until God makes things right in Paradise.  Monday was the day I lost you. And how I hate that phrase, "lost you", as though I was negligent somehow and that's why your not here.  Maybe, in a way I was.  I insisted you take that medicine that we now believe may have caused your death. The doctors made me think you had no choice but to take it. I should have done my homework…

My husband of 41 years died 7 years ago. He had congestive heart failure, cardiomyopathy, and eventually liver failure. He was on life support for over 5 months. I eventually had to take him off life support and help him to let go and die. It was a very painful thing to do. Three years later, our youngest daughter went into sudden cardiac arrest and was put on life support for a week before I was told her brain was swelling too much and only her brain stem was functioning. I had to allow her…

Three years three months today………..he's still dead, I'm still alive and the pain is still ever present……. Grief is hardly an adequate word……..

Having a conversation with someone last week it seems no matter what, someone likely, maybe always, suffers in the physical from a death. You have on one extreme as mine, sudden and unexpected. We are the ones to suffer. You have those who are sick prior and by the time they pass, we are relieved they are no longer suffering as the quality of their life was no more. They are the ones to suffer. I don't know there is any scenario death causes no one physical suffering ...

I've had 3…

No truer words could be said: " Just because I'm strong enough to handle pain doesn't mean I deserve it!"

I saw another medium, omg she  knew so much, things no one knew but me and shawn. I cryed so hard and so much as she read me. I miss my so so very very much, and I know now he wont leave me. but im still so deeply depressed and under doctors care, I still pray each night to die, ill never be happy again till im holding my son. I stay in my bed a lot, just to tired to do anything, I go see shawn everyday sometimes in his pjs. I feel like this black hole is getting deeper, and there are times…