Christmas is over, and as of midnight tonight a New Year will begin. It's been strange around here this past year. The holidays were very different for me also this year. I am about to dip into some pretty deep self pity. I feel like I have lost my whole family. My oldest daughter is doing very well, but she's not as happy, and giddy like she used to be especially during the holidays. Is it because we are all older? When I was young I used to dream about the holidays with my own children.…

Well, everyone says time heals everything. Maybe so but today doesn't feel like it. Tomorrow will be the 3 year mark of my husband's death. I still feel like I have no control of anything. I have anxiety and depression still. I feel like I will never get over or through that either. Sometimes I just want to stay in bed and let life pass me by but I have my kids to take care of. So I have to be a big girl and deal with it. My work is stressing me out too. That just piles stuff on me with the…

My husband died on December 22nd after just 3 weeks of hospital care for cancer.  It went so fast I still can't process it all.  About every other day, I have sore sinuses from crying so much.  I see his last picture, I cry.  I see his lighter, I cry.  I see his drivers license, and yes I cry.  Then it seems I can move on a little.  It feels a bit like I just dove off the deep end, and the water is so deep I can't see the surface.  I think that when I reach the surface I will have learned to…

Mom,

I keep waking up hoping this is just a bad dream and that we will talk later in the day.

I know that your passing is real, but I do not want it to be.  I miss hearing your voice, the smell of your perfume and moisturizer, your silly posts on Facebook.  

I made it through Christmas as I know you would have wanted me to.  I hosted Christmas Eve at the house for Jerry's family, but I also went as far as inviting Tammy and Daddy.  I did not want them to be alone, as I…

You were my best fellow, my first love. How am I going to navigate this world without your guidance and without being able to feel your arms around me or hear your laughter? It is a blue Christmas indeed without you.

The day you died there was a beautiful rainbow that stretched across the sky. I…

When Lily died I missed her with all my heart and soul; but I wasn't lonely. I still had my husband. Our conversations filled in some of the gaps in my life that being without Lily left behind.

Recently, however, I have been without my husband. I still have Summer and Riley to play with…

I am having a challenging time with a specific person in my life right now. Amidst all my preparation for Christmas I need to deal with this person who it feels wants to drag me down as low as he is feeling! I have been trying to focus on all the amazing support and love I have been receiving from my special friends here on this page (thank you again). I have been trying to not take it personally, to just feel sorry for him and the pain he is feeling but today it got the better of me and…

To everyone whom has replied to my posts that I have not replied to yet, I am sorry for that. It has been on my mind every day. I am away at the moment and I do intend on replying and wanted each of you to know that. I will reply when I can find the energy and time to put into my replies.

Thanks for your patience and understanding. 

God bless you all

Lee. 

i thnk xmas 2013 will be hrder thn lst yr it will be coz aftr my dad died lst yr i dnt thng i cud luze mre famly ths yr or frindss of famly or nboz ths yr 

it dnt hlp plyng xmas songs in oct it dnt advtizng stuf in aug/sep selng xmas crd in julllly it dnt i no i sond lk a msiry sonso i usd 2 luv xmas 1 tm i did bt nw it mks me feal sad…

I lost my husband in a car wreck a couple of months ago and I am still reeling.  We married very young and were married for 23 years.  Through our marriage, we had been told we would never be able to have children, nursed each other through many illnesses and tried to be as supportive of each other as possible.  The minute I laid eyes on him, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  He was my best friend.  I always imagined us as elderly people, holding hands and…

So I had to ask the seargent on my brothers case if the killer had remorse during their interviews..he didnt really want to tell me but did say he did not lose any sleep over the 3 murders he didnt even think he would get caught..Now that Ive seen his face i am struggling with not hating him..he looks like the devil...God forgive me..

About a week ago I had a dream. I was at a large family gathering. My aunts and remaining uncle were present and I was being introduced to a small boy, maybe 4 or 5 years old who was linked to my late uncle Jim (whose baby son had been adopted out at birth over thirty years before and none of our family had ever met). My uncle, like Lily died of cancer. This uncle whom I so adored as the gentle, funny and charismatic…

almost 3 years later it hurts that my dad won't be around to see me make it big as an actor and give a cool speech during a toast if I ever book my first movie and have an after-party. There is nobody else that I would want sitting in the audience of my open mics and there will never be another person that cared about my acting dream as much as he did, my father was not only proud of my acting but he showed up to all 8 shows, even snuck into reversals and the director, producer, and all of…

Oh, I had written a reply on Change of Seasons and lost the whole thing.  Just needing to empty out my storage tank of sad thoughts.  Writing it out, talking to my son sometimes helps.

Coming up on another winter/holiday season and thoughts (memories) are running wild again.  Two nights ago (out of the blue) I pictured the snow that was on our deck the first winter you were not here.  Maybe it had been the first snowfall that year - I can't remember that.  All I know is that…

The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges: As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

Many people do not experience the stages in the order listed below, which is okay. The key to understanding the stages is not to feel like you must go through every one of them, in precise order. Instead, it’s more helpful to look at…

i dnt no wish yr wz worse ths yr or lst yr 2 me lst yr coz i lost my dad wish hrts me 2 mush thn ths yr i dnt thng i cud lose mre peple lk lst yr  its dec 2013 i drnt thng abot 2014 

i dnt thng grief cud hrt as bad ths till nw i no wen i wz a tran i lost peple but now im a mush oldr it seams 2 hrt very bad it…