My mom passed away December 3, 2010 after fighting cancer for 2 years. When she was diagnosed the cancer was already stage 4. Not knowing what that really meant I looked it up and knew she didn't have much time.Although I knew that I was still in denial up until the day she died.She lived in Ohio and i live in Fl. Looking back now I can see all the signs I should have been picking up on about her illness because she wasn't real honest about how bad it really was either. I know the first 6…

My husband found out 1 year ago that he had colon cancer and it had gone to his liver. We went to the best doctors and he made it through the first big round of chemo in pretty good shape. Then it seemed as though everything they tried went downhill fast. He passed away on 9-30-2011. he wanted to die at home and I honored that request. When he passed away I was bweside him holding his hand. I am so glad that I was with him.  He had been my soul for the last 30 years. As long as I…

Love is the key when we're grieving.

When we hear the words "I Love You", our hearts are instantly lifted!

Troubles disappear, we drop our problems on the floor of our emotional rooms, and we are overjoyed!

That's the power and spiritual healing of Love.

Our loved ones told us they loved us, and maybe said they will love us forever.

I keep finding notes, letters, cards from my wife and mother, all of the I Love You's......

Jami's hand print from when…

So..... I was always interested in the spiritual realm... kind of obsessed with it actually.  However, I never knew 100% sure if it's possible.  I told my father in his last days while he was resting... not completely asleep that he better contact me and my daughter after he is in heaven to let us know he's okay and contact us in some way... via electricity or however! …

That's all I feel like I have right now.  Weariness.  I am bone-tired.  Tired of stapling a cheerful smile to my face and living such a ridiculous lie.  It's been a really rotten year, with several different kinds of losses - and then my faith community suddenly lost a beloved member last week.  

I feel bad that I feel bad.  I feel bad that this loss seems even more real to me than the loss of my grandmother late last summer.  I wasn't able to travel to see her as often as I…

I lost my Mom on August 16th.  She was a lung cancer survivor who after she retired was able to live out some of her lifes dreams and travel the world.  She became ill in April, with what we all assumed was a pinched nerve, then we were told it was Parkinsons, but not a week before she passed we found out she more than likely had Mad Cow Disease.  What kind of cruel joke was this...my Mom was a go getter after cancer she let nothing stop her.  She was 65 which is young in my book.  This…

How could death come in between us and separate us. Maybe, maybe, in my wildest thoughts, maybe a Divorce? but, you would be here for your son 100%. However, things did not turned out that way. I lost you to Murder!. We spent almost 12 years together, so much memories to treasure; I got 12 years;. but our son Sebastian only got 19 months. How is that fair??? 12 years vs. 19 months. This is just not right, this is not what my life was…

Hi! I'm new to blogging.  I usually write in my journal, which helps me sort out my feelings.  But since I found this wonderful site, I decided this wasn't a bad idea.

I would like to say I'm glad to be here, but I'm not.  I guess none of us are, but we need each other to get through the bad times.

I'm her because I lost my dear mother a year and a half ago from Ovarian Cancer and I am still coming to terms with her death.  Part of the reason why is because her death was so…

I wonder how many more love notes I will find from my wife Jami.

Today another one popped up and it was from around last Christmas and it read.

"Have a great day today love, and I will miss you my love.

I Love you my Dolly!"

It choked me up for several minutes.  I took some deep breaths, sat down, and I got this overall

positive feeling.  It was so very uplifting.  I sat and just spoke out the words, "I love you too Jami".

More than the memories, and…

Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.

--Michael Ballard your friendly GGNN Reporter on the move every hour on the hour with the latest GGNN News!

This message was pre-recorded because it was impossible to record it afterwards.......

My wife Jami's birthday was yesterday, 10-13-11.

Our son Nicholas and me didn't have a cake, we had her favorite, M&M cookies.

It was somewhat of a difficult day but not really!  It was more of a challenge.  A challenge to be brave, courageous, and committed to getting through it (her birthday) I made it a goal when today arrived to celebrate this day, no matter how difficult it was, the way she would want us to.  And…

I am sorry any of us have a reason to be here, but even still, I am very grateful to know there is a community available like this online.

I am here to be able to connect with anyone who has or is undergoing a sudden, traumatic loss. Also, I hope to help myself work through my own guilt. I know, deep down, I shouldn't feel guilty, but it is sticking with me. I hope being here can help…

I just joined the group and am a 79 year old widower who lost his wife 10 months ago. After attending Hospice one-on-one counseling as well as group counseling (they did help me at the time), I sometimes feel like I'm slipping back into deep sadness and depression at times. I can't make it through a whole day without falling apart a few times. After 54 years of marriage, it's very hard to live alone. I notice there doesn't seem to be a group for older widowed people so I'm entering my blog…

It's been almost 15 weeks since my Mom passed away.

I have so many thoughts constantly running through my head. Some days I feel crazy. I can't, or don't talk about what I'm feeling. To anyone. No one understands, so why worry or burden them with my horror stories? Which is what my life feels like; One big never ending horror…