The title says it all. I need to get out of this funk I've been in. Its been a week since I found out...when does it start getting easier? Everything has been suffering. I'm a stay at home mom. My relationship with my fiancee has been suffering. My housework has been suffering. This house looks a mess right now. My fiancee wants to spend time with me and I've just been sleeping nonstop. He understands so he doesnt press the issue, but I don't want my life to suffer because of this. I want to…

I don,t care how our marriage went in the final years. I must have depressed her terribly(maby) I don,t know,she backed me into a corner over the years.Her revengful temper ,(or what  ever you want to call it) came between us,also my inability to get out from under.

So much for that.we were together 35 yrs (since 1977) Sometimes I cann,t bring myself to even type my true feelings. So as everyone knows the loss of someone close is a debilitating. Having to pull her life support haunts…

It feels as if Januray 27th was just yesterday, yet seems so long since I have seen my mother. Ever since she had gastric bypass surgery in 2005, she has had nothing but health problems, especially involving her pancreas, but I never knew it was severe. She was a nurse, so I figured if something was terribly wrong, she would let me know. Or maybe I was just in denial, because parents are suppose to be bullet proof, you…

Iam afraid to change ,shy,scared etc. However doing things on your own are good ,gym,walking ,paying attention to your health.This afternoon put some of her clothes in a box,not good ""emotional crash"however, I think,Iam able to push thru grieving spells,its the worst like waking up from a nightmare and finding yourself in a box but eventually finding a way out.Ha! only to have  grieving spell repeat its self.I read eventually the worst of the spells go away,keep busy

a member here recommended a web site for me to read and get me thru my loss. 'recover from grief .com" I had some very good  information on grieving. As I read  more entries Iam overwelmed with the feelings and actions of those that I read about. So I truly don,t feel alone.

Iam no better than the next person dealing with loss. Iam do walking patrols and Iam in the staircase  unable to move because of a "flashback" from our life together,but I tell myself "move through it" Iam sure…

no nothing like that ,just tired.Its like the common consenses is hurry and reinvent myself. Noo! The living room in the house where we lived is a disaster zone. Iam starting to go thru boxes of stuff we had and Iam even thnking of getting rid of her stuff (not!). Well anyway put it in boxes ,got to be that way. I have heard of some surviving spouses even repainting the walls. (no energy here) Defiantly on the hit list is old towels and sheets(excuse my spelling) One of these days Iam…

Mine and my father's relationship was always about ups and downs. When I was growing up, I remember him to be a loving and caring person, always there when I needed him. He would spend hours braiding my hair, or if I had to have a special school project done he would help me with it. I remember motorcycle rides on the back of his Goldwing to Catholic school (Oh the looks we would get, but I loved it) and I was daddy's little girl.

Somewhere along the line I started to grow up...and…

I wanted to share an idea of what we can do with pictures of our loved ones.  Nancy Gershman, a digital artist, creates meaningful portraits from photos, memories and stories that we think about every day. Here is a sample of her work:

DREAMSCAPE PHOTOMONTAGE: Myrtle pays homage to the memory of her twin and keeps a promise to her sister.…

you cannot simply make someone go away that you have been with for so many years.It makes you wonder why things happend the way they do . I have flashbacks would I say horrible,horrible in the sense that Iam expecting her to come through the door and scold me for the mess I have created. I still loved her even if she made it difficult at times.

So now I feel like Iam inside a tornado thats whirling around at 300 mph. I know I shouldn,t say this but since she has been gone I have…

I feel frozen in place. Life is going 

today I spent the whole day inside my house.When she was alive I don,t think I ever did that.I mean I could have straighten up the garage but I never did,I went on a eating binge,not every single minute.Slept most of the day.I can imagine she slept most of the time she was home,depression? I told my therapist I was going to go the gym,I went once since I promiosed him this.The worst thing of the whole week is when I have to go work at 12 minight for 2 days.In the morning I have to endure my…

Iam driven to comment on grief today. No one can imagine what sorrow and pain is going on with the loss of there loved one,a fact that I somehow fail to see. It seems as I suspected the world is over all insentative except when it comes to there own world .Which is basically true. So maby some emotions were triggered in me.So anyway I sat in my house all day today.

Hello -- I'm so glad this site is here. I spoke to an old family friend who is encouraging me to go down and see my mom out of state and ignore my mom's wishes. My mom really made it clear to me she does not want me to come down, and I want to respect her wishes. I talk to her once a week on the phone, per her request, and ask her each time if she has changed her mind about me going down to see her; she has not. The hospice people also told me I should probably not go down to see her. I just…

i need to vent. For those of us who have lost children, husbands etc. this is to the living.  I am still grieving my losses. You didn't go through this ordeal. I know its almost three since the first one and a little over a year since the second one. I did not need the man in my life to have been diagnosed with cancer. that came a week after the funeral  than pretend nothing happened we are supposed to go back to our jobs and suck it up.  the man in my life left last week I think that I am…

Your spouse dies your life screeches to a halt,I told my therapist I would have preferred to die with her .Whats the use.Anyway not happening,Iam not suicidal don,t even drink that much.Iam getting there ,I have to remind myself slow going.One cann,t change 35 yrs of life with the same person regardless of there personal life together.I think the bond together is so strong it remains with you.I think consciously the bond may get weaker but I believe will never go away.Like many of us I feel…

how do i get over my fear of them seting in side 1 makes me feal

Death has become like just another every day thing to me.  My gran has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer.  She is 82 and decided not to receive treatment.  Doctors don't think she will live to see next year.  In 2009 my other gran died, in 2010 my dad died, and in 2011 my mom died.  I have become "numb" at the idea of death.  It is part of life and one day I will go too.  I am 26 and only having a younger sister left as my close family, I am getting paranoid that something will happen…