Chantel Thibodeaux
  • Female
  • Duson, LA
  • United States
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just need to talk to someone
7 Replies

I just joined this group. hopefully this helps. i have been feeling so down in the dumps and its.interfering with everything and everyone in my life. I watched my grandma take her last breath on good…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Chantel Thibodeaux May 19, 2012.

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About Me:
Hi. My name is chantel. I am 22 years old...going on 23 next month. I have been married for 3 years and have two beautiful kids. My oldest is 4. His name is kayden. And my youngest is 3 months. Her name is kaylee. I used to be cheerful and uplifted. Always went out my way to make ppl laugh. But lately things have changed. I'm to myself all the time and would rather stay in the house all day than to go outside and face ppl.
About my Loss:
I've had quite a few deaths in my life. But the two hardest were by cousin and my grandma. Two years ago my cousin overdosed. He was super depressed and it killed me that he took his life. He left behind 3 kids under the age of 7. I see him in them every time I see them.
I finally started getting back to normal "even though I can't even say what normal feels like anymore". Then April rolls around. At the end of may, my whole family got together to go tell my grandma our good byes. I thought that would be the hardest thing I ever had to do...little did I know...April would be so much worse. From the night we went see my grandma until the day she passed two weeks later, I went every day...some nights I slept. In April when I went to see her, she looked real bad. I ended up staying all day and all night. The family also came because she wanted all her kids and grandkids to be by her side. When the time came, I just stood there feeling helpless. She took her last breath and like that she was gone. My best friend, gone. Just like that. there's not a second that goes by that I don't think about her. When I'm not hurting and feeling like someone ripped my heart out, I feel numb...not knowing if I can go on. But I have two kids that I need to be here for. That's the only thing that keeps me going.

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everyone says it'll get easier

Well its not! It seems like its getting harder. Each day that goes by that I can't call my grandma or go see her, hurts me even more. I feel like im so far down and I don't have the energy to get up. I try to put on a happy face for everyone. But I don't think I can do that anymore. It hurts too much to fake a smile. I just want to go away. But I can't because im.a mom and a wife and I have to take care of them.

They say talking helps. It doesn't. I want to talk to her! But I can't. I… Continue

Posted on August 23, 2012 at 10:11pm — 2 Comments

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At 11:17pm on May 15, 2012, Kayla said…
I just want to let you know i love you and i am always here for you. Even though im not much help since in going through the same thing as you!!! Just remeber im here and if u nee anything let me know!!!
 
 
 

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