Talking with a so called friend today, she asked how I was doing , I just shrugged my shoulders to which she said, you do know there's people worse off than you, you know, I said I knòw there bloody is, but I feel lost , to which she just shrugged her shoulders. Until people lose their soul mate they can never understand, EVER! . I relate to nobody anymore, Also I was asked why don't I have facebook anymore, I said I can't bare to see happy families and loved up couples photos anymore, I was…

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For me, when Barb died, it was like a light went out. I remember feeling like every cell in my body was drained of energy. I felt lifeless, non-emotional, cold, and hopeless, rather like the marionette that hung in my closet when I was a kid. My form

was here, but nothing within me was working.

                                ~Mike

 

 

You Are

 

 

You…

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Last night was tough....very tough.  2 years ago, I thought he was going to die then. It was an emotional month while he was in ICU and step down.  But, it was the same date (5 months ago) that he went to his peace and I went here.  Today was not good either...especially when my mom realized what yesterday was and facebook showed a memory of him last year...almost healthy.  Some one said that the dates are hard, but it gets more routine.

There are times that I  wonder if I was too…

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My father died of a stroke in January. I am still devastated as he was the best person I ever met and I just loved him so much. I have stopped interacting with people once I leave work. I was never very social and now I just want to be alone or with cats. I come home, overeat on unhealthy food and get into the bed with my cat by 9p.

Tomorrow is that day....that horrible day when everything started to go to crap.  When he quit cooking for our riders, he went on a memorial run for a friend of ours that got in an accident the year before....the day that he got into his accident....and died in the ambulance.....I saw the chopper set down, and an acquaintance of mine ran out as the paramedic...and I yelled at him..."That's my hunny in there!  PLEASE take care of him!"....That was 2 years ago.    Yes, I got him for an extra…

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• Reduced concentration
• A sense of numbness
• Disrupted sleeping patterns
• Changed eating habits
• Emotional Roller coaster

Hi everyone, I'm posting this from Sweden so please excuse my sometimes broken English..

I live everyday with a terrible burden of guilt for the way my Mom passed.

Here's my story..in 2013 my beloved Mother passed away suffering from pneumonia.

She lived in a nursing home since a second stroke paralized her in 1998.

The last night I was sitting by her bedside for some hours watching her breathe very hard and fast, no pauses.

She was totally awake and alerte and the… Continue

It's been one month that I lost my soulmate on Valentine's Day.  

This has been surreal, because it's like he just disappeared.  Living without him is becoming unbearable.

My love, I'm trying and I want to be strong, but I miss you so much. 

Remembering back to the day she died is like a brilliant flash of light. Barb died of a massive heart attack brought on by complications from Type 2 diabetes. To me, diabetes is a very …

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Maybe I'm strange. I enjoy my memories.  Granted, it's tough and time is making it a little easier, but I think that it is only because I am learning how to "behave" when I remember.  I felt extremely lucky to have my hunny for the extra year and a half that I got. He died in the ambulance at his accident and if his C1 had chipped 1 mm the other way, he would've died or been paralyzed. Even though that year and a half was hard--I was caregiver for 5 months while he grew in strength and…

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It's been a month since my partner passed away. I found that talking to people helped me. Today, my Airbnb host gave me an insight that I haven't thought about before we had this conversation. He said that everyone eventually passes away. That is the natural course of life. It is the untimely death of the person that makes it harder to accept this reality. My partner was 40 years old when he passed away. I had many plans before he had cancer. In my mind, we will grow old together. In my…

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It's been a month but I still vividly remember the day you were gone

I try so hard to accept this painful reality



In a room of emptiness I wishpered slowly: "I could have done more, I should have done more..."

I'm drowning in this ocean full of regrets and guilts



My heart is broken now that you; part of me, is gone forever

Wonder will I ever be whole again



People say time will heal but the pain of losing you is unbearable

They say I've got to… Continue

Psalm 121New Living Translation (NLT)

Psalm 121

A song for pilgrims ascending to Jerusalem.

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Have you experienced the death of a spouse in the past five years?

Are you between the ages of 18-64? If so, researchers from the University of Illinois are interested in hearing your story. We are conducting interviews with individuals who have recently lost a spouse. Interested participants will engage in an audio-recorded interview about their experiences with loss. Interviews will take approximately 45–90 minutes and will remain confidential. Participants who are U.S. citizens,…

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Their are so many stages of grief, I have lost times the amount of times I have gone through them all, this time is different, I'm getting severe panic attacks. Throughout the loss of my father I was also going to a 4 yr relationship with an extremely abusive partner, it took every last bit of strength to leave. I had a full time job as a head chef and I was financially independent. In dec 2016 I lost my job, I was irresponsible and it cost me my job, I have been having a massive blow out,… Continue

My Mommy died on Saturday, February 25, 2017 at 2:30 P.M. It was the most devastating day of my entire life. I knew her death was certain because she'd had two strokes on both sides of her brain a year apart. It was expected, but never real until the moment it happened. I was asleep when she died. I woke up the minute to the hour she passed on. The movie While You Were Sleeping was my favorite movie of all time, so it is ironic really.

Around midnight I went out on the porch.…

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ever sisne iv had so mush loss i feal lk my lifs bean 1 big crash u cdy u cud say so mush loss in 2012 wz bad thn 2013 14 15 16 17 it tims i feal lk im jinx  i do i no its in my hed iv loss nuber of funrels iv bean 2 ovr lst 5 yrs evry 1 difrnt 

sad thng is only tim i sea famly 

My mother lived out her illness for 14 years, with the love of my father and family. For 14 years, we watched my mother, a very strong woman deteriorate. She watched herself deteriorate. I bathed her, clothed her, did her hair and nails. Her bedroom was downstairs, over looking a beautiful vegetable garden and dwarf apple trees.. My father gave her the best life she could have lived.. Up until she passed away. 14 years of live and dedication, honesty, loyalty. My father was diagnosed with MDS… Continue