Hi Monica, Quite Sunday here, my kids are out of town for the week but home tomorrow. We're all going out for dinner, looking forward to it. I wish I was back at the lake..something about the water that brings me such peace. Hope you're doing well and have some family and friends to keep you company.
I really miss Don today and that wonderful feeling of being loved. I guess it's a feeling sorry for myself kinda day! Take care XOXO

Hi Monica,
Just checking to see how you're doing? Weekends are hard aren't they. We used to have so much fun going dancing and listening to live music around town. Don loved to dance as much as I did. We knew each other so well and had such a connection. Do you ever wonder if you could be that close with another person? We are close in age and hopefully will have a long life yet to live even though it's hard to think about, sharing all that I did with Don seems impossible to have with another person.
Is that a picture of you at the lake with Damon's ashes?
I wish you well, stay strong and think of happy times. Talk soon. XOXO

Hi Monica,
Good to hear from you, I'm sorry that you had some bad days, I know the feeling. Rob's party at the cemetery was nice and everyone said that they were glad I did it and were happy to be there on Sunday. I guess I thought that doing all this would make yesterday, his actual Birthday easier but it didn't. I was a wreck and thankfully my family suprised me by planning to stay so that was good. I missed him not being here and that made me so sad. I'm trying to do the things I should and yet, like you I wonder what's the point, The one thing that gave me purpose was Rob and our life together and without him it seems so futile. I know that Damon and Rob want us to go on and find some kind of peace and even a new kind of happiness. So we keep moving forward but it can feel like three steps forward and two steps back sometimes right? I'm happy to hear that you've been having better days and wish more of the same for both of us. BTW, I'm feeling like I'm acknowleging more about the fact that Rob has passed, not acceptance because that sounds like I approve and I definitely don't approve of what happened How about ytou?
best,
Dan

Hi Monica, I'm so sorry to hear your pain. I'm right there with you as far as the unbearable moments and not sure what to do next. I feel the same wanting a change. I have a new job but I to would like to go back to school, to do something a lttle more fulfilling. It's tough to have to make these decisions on our own when the person we trusted to have our best interest at heart is no longer with us to help us help us and give us encourgement. I'm here for you, take yout time, way out the odds and go for it.
I went to a graduation party last night felt so alone going by myself my kids were there but they can only fill a certain need not the soul mate I miss so much to share all my thoughts with. I'm going to send a private message to you with my number.
Even though it was painful for you at the lake I'm sure it was also good to have some private greiving time alone with your thoughts. Hang in there! XOXO

Hi Monica, I hope you're getting through this holiday weekend OK. I'm having a difficult time We used to have a big celebration with all of our kids at the lake celebrating the begining of summer, boating, grilling and just being together. I still have moments when it's hard to believe any of this ever happened. How could such a strong, much loved, beautiful man suddenly be gone in a moment?? Sometimes it feels like years since I'd last seen him.It's also strange what triggers memories. I sometimes still find myself thinking he's still here and I've got something to tell him and can't wait to hear what he thinks about it. I so miss the deep conversations we had daily. I read you should write a letter, put it in a balloon and send it straight up to heaven for them to read. Maybe I'll give it a try.
My kids and I are going to an amusement park Memorial Day that should keep me busy.
Hope your doing well, talk soon. XOXO

Hi Monica,
No worries, I'm glad that your visiting your parents, mine are coming to LA next weekend and we're having a B-day party for Rob as his birthday is June 8th. Another thing that may be wierd but we are having it at the cemetary where his remains are inturned. they're setting up a tent, tables and cxhairs and were having food and wine and expect 20 people or so. Hope you are well and look forward to hearing from you when you return.
best,
Dan

Thank you for your kind words Monica. It's strange but knowing others miss similar moments with their loved ones brings some kind of relief or something. I don't know what I'm talking about but knowing you can relate to what I'm going through makes me feel like I'm not alone a little bit. You guys were madly in love and the way he would bring you a cup of coffee is so wonderful. I'm not really a morning person but Rob was always bright and cheery so waking up with him was a joy and sometimes he would make breakfast and all I had to do was sit and enjoy it with him. I take it one day at a time and gear myself up for bed time so it doesn't hurt but as you well know its not easy. Thank you for your thoughts on taking Rob's urn to Maui for a wedding we had planned to attend. I wasn't sure if I was being a freak by taking him with me. I hope today was a better day and look forward to staying in touch.
best,
Dan

Sorry to be just getting back to you, missed your comment. Thanks for your kind words and I'm so sorry for your loss. Its true that everyone tells me "to give time the time that time needs" But like you I feel I won't make it and I keep having to tell myself that Rob would want me to be well and learn to live again. Problem is that he made my life worth living because he was kind, thoughtful and always happy. I mean he was that guy, you know the one that looked at the bright side of life. I'm seeing someone weekly and hope to join a group seesion in June. I hope you're getting help if you want it and the pictures you have up here reaaly show the love you Damon hve for eachother. BTW my name is Dan Ortega, small world isn't it?
Hope to hear from you soon and that today was a better day for you.
Best,
Dan

Hello, I went to FL to visit my girlfriend same thing happened. She was having some issues, I had a difficult time, wanting to say the same thing you were thinking, he's alive , he loves you, he is here to cuddle with everyday. ..but I didn't. It's dfferent how we view things these days isn't it. Sometimes I feel selfish thinking this way but we now know what matters. Don's son and granddaughter are visiting this weekend so looking forwaard to it. His 3 grown kids and I have remained very close even though they live 3 and 5 hrs away. We see each other when we can and talk often.
Glad you enjoyed your friends company. We need all the comfort we can get.
I do want to put up pictures as soon as I get them organized and do some downloading. I enjoyed looking at the new ones you've posted. So sad..I'm so sorry for you. I didn't even know what grief was before this.. I'm glad to hear your making plans, good sign. Have a good night, talk soon. XOXO