Eileen it is not your fault that your Mom died. Your Aunt has serious emotional issues and that need to blame is about her ego that she wasn't looking after your Mom and it was you. Your Aunt won't realise this however as you have said she is a woman with difficulties who is emotionally insecure and puts on an act to put others down to make her feel better about herself. It's really hard I know. With Mom at first I blamed myself for Mom death as we were having additional imput as we weren't coping when Mom had a nasty fall in an NHS enviroment and broke her hip last September, Two operations escalated her dementia meaning she needed nursing care and couldn't come home and Mom was left like a vegatable from it. She passed in Dec just gone, 2010. I felt like I had killed Mom by getting extra help and it wouldn't have happened if Mom had been at home with us. My Doctor gave me a right telling off for that and my mentor said 'who made you God Carol,that's ego, thinking you could have saved your Mom asnd done it all in your own strenght'. Mom had had enough anyway even when she was living with us Mom had lost her independance and she told me last year that when I said to her 'what do you want from me Mom, I can't do anything to make you happy anymore' Mom pointed upwards and said I want to be up their, meaning heaven. Mom had lost her independance even before the accident.x. It is harder if someone is blaming you as we all tend to take on the negative and forget the positive. Where your Aunt is concerned the next time you get a comment or a look, I would just say Auntie if you thought you could have done any better why didn't you take over or give your imput, I did the best I could and you blaming me is your stuff, not mine' and walk away. You can something politely however firmly without being rude. You do not have to take this behaviour from your Aunt.