Connie, thank you for your kind and caring comment.  I am so sorry for what you have also had to go through.  Not that I want to be connected to these pages but I am also very, very grateful.  It's heartbreaking to know that so many others are suffering the passing of their children... sigh

Connie, thank you for your kindness. Its's so hard to be nice when our world seems so cruel. The passing of my son has certainly made me bitter, angry and even sometimes mean. Thank you again. You and so many others have shown me that there are kind people still left in this world. Sending comforting hugs.

Connie. I don't always read the posts of losing a child but for some reason I just hit on yours and felt like you are doing something very constructive and looked to see how your son had died.  Very sad that he was taken the way he was.  I tended to someone who had Crohns a long time ago and that is a horribly painful disease and with it under control and then lose him senselessly is devastating.  

What I found so interesting about your post was the reference to 11:11.  I found for awhile consistently for about a month the same thing had been popping up to me and frequently enough that it was hard to ignore.  Very weird.  I finally googled it it said it was a new beginning.  It wasn't specific as to who was supposed to have the new beginning although it was pointing a bit to the "survivor" and as such I wasn't feeling it.  But I still see it a lot.  Not as much but a lot.  If it does mean they are trying to contact us to let us know they are ok then it helps me feel a bit better.  I will see various iterations of the 1's.  10:11, 11:01, etc.  

Just now I went through another of one of my major meltdowns and I sometimes  record them in iPhoto booth as I hope that someday I can rewind and see I am doing better or if I die maybe others will understand what this pain is like.  I am at a mark in time though that I do not see any kind of light as I don't feel like I am getting any better.  If anything the breakdowns are fewer but so much more intense.  Reality is wearing me out.  My spirit was broken when my husband died and now without his guiding light I am so lost.  I just don't know how to do this anymore.   I am totally alone.  But maybe that 11:11 was trying to let me know he is somewhere. I will try to hang on that hope.

Hi Connie 

Thank You for your condolences regarding my situation. I am very sorry that you lost your son . I truly know how you feel because I have been living a nightmare every day since October when my beautiful wife suddenly became an angel.Hold onto the good memories and try to live life with spirit.It will not be easy to move forward but you have support here.Life does and will go on for you .Feel free to communicate with me at any time for I am fully aware what you are going through right now ....