Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Jackie, I just read your post. My heart feels your pain. I too lost my husband Sept. 29, 2010 from liver cancer due to alcoholism...He was 55 years old. Three months later I was run over in a parking lot by someone driving an SUV and texting I am now permanently physically handicapped and unable to be mobile on my own. I live every day with missing Doug and realizing choices alcoholics have and have not. It is a disease. Have you tried an on line Al Anon group? I was such an active person and now all I have is on line. Life somedays is a nightmare. I haven't been out in months. I hate Alcoholism. And miss Doug so much now 35 months later but feeling like it was yesterday.
II lost my husband 6 weeks ago and I'm drowning. Greg was an alcoholic for years but full functioning. After a surgery left him feeling out of controll he drank more and more. He tried to stop so…Continue
Started by Debbie. Last reply by Debbie May 10, 2016.
My life partner died Dec 18, 2013. He had been diagnosed with lung cancer the previous March and started Chemo & Radiation in August. His treatments were finished in November. The doctors assured…Continue
Started by marsha Feb 17, 2014.
Hi,My best friend died 17 days ago. He was my only friend and an alcoholic. He drank because of deep emotional pain that he was not able to deal with. I understood that about him. I know he had…Continue
Started by Lee Evans. Last reply by Lee Evans Dec 19, 2013.
I lost my dad last February at 52 years old. He always enjoyed drinking, but the past few years have been the worst. I found myself distancing myself from him after he promised he would stop drinking…Continue
Started by Jenna. Last reply by Linda Kelly Dec 15, 2013.
Comment
had a cuzen i wz close 2 trnd 2 drink 2 num pane he died of panretd c coz of drinkn 2 mush
sum tims we loss way coz of loss we loss our slfs in booze sorry if i sond dum or silly
or sum tims in drugs we do
we try2 nm pane by drinkinw drinkin we do evm othr thngs we do
2 num it we do i no pele say its a exsuse bt thy shud try 2 hav a loss or sumthng bad happen 2 thm
sorry of im bean nasty so on
sorry
I am new here. My husband and best friend of 17 years passed away July, 2013. I found him dead in the bathroom of alcohol poisoning. He was a good man full of demons and shame and guilt.
I recently lost my husband of 7 years on March 21, 2014. He was diagnosed with end-stage liver disease due to cirrhosis 3 years ago. I moved from my family and home state to be with my husband 7 years ago and I am now all alone except children. He was my world. I just wish he could have stopped drinking when he was diagnosed 3 years ago. Things could be so different now if he did. He did not stop drinking until December 2013, when he was too sick to drink.
My life partner died Dec 18, 2014. He had been diagnosed with lung cancer the previous March and started Chemo & Radiation in August. His treatments were finished in November. The doctors assured us the cancer was gone: it had been a very small dot on the outside of his lung. I kept asking how his liver had fared because he was an alcoholic most of this adult life, if not all of it. I knew chemo kills all kinds of cells. We were reassured the liver was functioning correctly. But the second week in November I had to call the ambulance to pick him up. He was running a fever and had passed out on the bathroom floor. That was the beginning of the end. I called the ambulance a total of 3 times from mid November until his final rush to the hospital on Dec 9, 2014. Each time he was tested and given antibiotics for infections, once he had a bleeder in his stomach and had that cauterized. It just seemed he could never recover from one thing before the next arrived. On Dec 10, they pumped the fluid from his lungs, and because he had been unable to walk, not even to the bathroom, since his first hospital visit, I agreed to have him to go a recovery center for "therapy". We kept asking about this liver and was continually told it was functioning. But on Dec 15, 2014 they said he was in liver failure and there was nothing more they could do. By that time, he was in and out of reality. I am so angry at the medical personnel. They have seen enough chemo related shutdowns they could have warned us his condition was frail and death was a possibility. But they kept saying he was working through the problems of lowered white blood cells, etc. Because we did not know the end was coming we did not have the usual goodbye conversations that people have. I know he loved me and I him, but it would have been nice to have had a bare-all soul- to-soul conversation. I spent the first days after his passing feeling like there was so much unsaid and unresolved between us I couldn't grieve. I regretted not marrying him in November when he asked me to. I regretted not making him believe he was my soul mate and the love of my life. Now it's been almost 2 months and, after speaking with a medium, and receiving some signs from him, I know he is aware of how much I love and miss him. He only wants the best for me. With all my regrets and rehashing his final days, I have struggled with grief. Today I feel better, but I know it will hit again when I least expect it. Grief never leaves, it just becomes more bearable with passing time.
Jackie, I just read your post. My heart feels your pain. I too lost my husband Sept. 29, 2010 from liver cancer due to alcoholism...He was 55 years old. Three months later I was run over in a parking lot by someone driving an SUV and texting I am now permanently physically handicapped and unable to be mobile on my own. I live every day with missing Doug and realizing choices alcoholics have and have not. It is a disease. Have you tried an on line Al Anon group? I was such an active person and now all I have is on line. Life somedays is a nightmare. I haven't been out in months. I hate Alcoholism. And miss Doug so much now 35 months later but feeling like it was yesterday.
Thanks Linda it is good to have someone to talk to.
I go to grief counceling once a month it does not seem to be enough for me. I am so sorry about your daughter, its hard to lose our children. Take care Jackie
Hi Jackie, The pain is so intense and those not involved in recovery don't understand. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my daughter. It really hurts. I'm just at the beginning of the grief process and I'm in shock and numbness. I know there will be many hard days ahead. Remember, too, you could never have made your husband quit. Take care of yourself. Linda
I LOSTED MY HUSBAND TO ALOCHOLISM, NOVEMBER 23, 2012.
IT HAS BEEN ROUGH DEALING WITH THE ANGER I FEEL. HE DIDNT EVEN SAY GOODBYE, IM SORRY. I LOVE YOU , NOTHING. I FEEL EMPTY. ALL THE FRIENDS WE HAD TOGETHER I HAVENT HEARD FROM SINCE HE DIED.
THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK TO ME. IM FEELING GUILT, I FEEL I DIDNT TRY HARD ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM QUIT.JUST NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO.
JACKIE
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