Janet Hunter
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  • Aurora
  • Canada
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  • Richard Barns
  • Erin
  • Tildyc

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About Me:
what would you like to know? I am completely in a fog and don't know how to deal with this.
About my Loss:
My 56 year old common law partner who was my husband passed away 11 weeks ago. Coroner says it was a massive coronary even though there was no autopsy done. In our bed, Easter Monday evening after we made love. I did CPR on him and literally saw him die in front of my eyes. Although I still had hope paramedics would be able to revive him. Looking back now I realize he died in front of me because of a strange crackling sound coming from his throat when I went to do mouth to mouth on him.
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At 9:25pm on August 17, 2015, Tildyc said…
Hi Janet- I lost my soulmate 61/2 mos ago. My situation is very very similar to yours. I am so broken now. I've been trying to escape.... In many different ways.


I've alway been a tough chick but I also used to be happy and easy going. Empathetic and caring. Now... I am angry, short tempered and can be way too much of a bitch. Sometimes down right mean. And...... I do not care. And that's a direct result of losing him. Everything about me has changed. And I am not dealing with very well. But I just do not know what to do.
At 5:32pm on July 11, 2015, Erin said…
I tried to send a photo but all i could do is put one on my profile page. I will put more up from another phone.
At 2:22pm on July 2, 2015, Richard Barns said…

I was in a bit of a mess and needed like minded people so just done a search.

At 12:04pm on July 2, 2015, Erin said…
I could go on and on about how much I miss him or about how I feel like I'm standing still in that day and the rest of the world is moving on or that i sleep with something of his so I can smell him or that I wake up every morning crying because he is not here or how I cry out to him to talk to me, tell you love me and that you are ok or how I feel like I've been thrown into my own nightmare and please wake me up because I don't want to do this anymore. Is this my reality now? All of this is exhausting. Living this way is hard. I know I will never stop crying for him and I will never be truly happy. I will never be that person. Out of my love for him, I will pick myself up and do something. He was so full of life and wasn't ready for that to end. But it did. I know he wouldn't want me to this miserable. So will do something for both of our souls. I want to help other people so I think I will check into voluteering. I feel that something good should come out of his death to honor his living. I love him enough to live the life that he can't. He was a beautiful man with a beautiful soul. The sadness will always be there because of the way he was ripped from my life. I didn't get to say goodbye. So I will get through this for him and for me.
 
 
 

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Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
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