sandra
  • Female
  • alberta
  • Canada
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About Me:
i am a wife and mother of three.I am a stay at home mother,wife.
About my Loss:
My very best friend, William, died Oct 15, 2015. He was the closest person to me. We did everything together and shared all our fears, dreams and secrets. He was there to raise my kids with me. We met ten years ago. I was a single parent then and he was a huge part of my life. I had nothing then and no one except him and my kids. When I met my husband Henry and we got married, William became a huge part of our whole family. William had no one prior either. His family disowned him long ago so I was all he had also. My husband and William were very good friends and my kids thought of him like family. To me he was my brother, best friend and soul mate. He was like the rest of me. He died of liver disease (he had a very hard life and was a drinker) I have spent ten years taking care of him and he did for me also. Now he's gone and I find myself questioning god and after life and pretty much everything. I feel very suicidal because i just want to go wherever he is but feel so guilty because I know my family needs me too. I am finding it increasingly harder and harder to function day to day. Tears are always just behind my eyes to the point of swelling and falling but I keep trying to hide this and seem "ok" for everyone else. The rest of my family is busy with school and work and carry on and I think that's what they want me to do also. Hard for me to do when every other minute i'm in pain. I have been through a lot of things and have had to overcome many obsticles. This is by far the hardest. I feel very broken and lost.

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