Sandra, bless your heart! Your dealing with such a heavy load. I am so sorry for the loss of your mom.  I am a nurses aide, and have worked with elderly folks for the past 23 years. I can honestly tell you that I have seen many families who were in situations like yours. Some were able to bring THEIR elderly parent home, but most of those who came home still failed to thrive because their poor little bodies were just worn out. I know it would have made you feel better to be able to do so, but please don't beat yourself up too much. Caregiving 24/7 is very difficult, as you know.  I have a feeling that the reason your mom wanted to go to a nursing home initially was to spare you some of that. Its so hard, no matter what age we are, to lose a mom. Sending my love and a big hug to you!