Bianca Mitchell
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About Me:
28 years old, real estate agent, from North Carolina
About my Loss:
Debra,

I am 28 years old and I have had to deal with a tremendous amount of loss in my life. My dad and my step-mother died in a very unexpected accident in 1999, when I was only 18 years old. My dad lived in a townhouse and the neighbor accidentally left his car running in the attached garage. The carbon Monoxide killed my dad, my step mom, my dog, and the neighbor and his girlfriend, two other people were injured. My mom died in December 2005 when I was 26 years old. She struggled for many years from multiple health issues and finally succumbed to a diabetic attack at home. My step-father just died in November 2009 after a short battle with lung cancer, it came suddenly and it overpowered him very quickly.

I am at a complete loss. How can I possibly be the eldest generation? I feel very jealous of my friends that go home every couple of weeks and let their mothers take care of them and cook them their childhood favorite foods. All of these comforts are gone forever. I thought the other day, that no one alive remembers the day I was born. I know that doesn't seem like such a big deal on the surface, but the finality of it is huge to me. None of my friends know what to do or say. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to. I have found comfort with some elderly people I know, they seem more willing to talk about loss and can be far more understanding than people my age. I don't think my friends want to be aloof or make me feel uncomfortable, but they simply do not know what to do. I really think we need to address these issues as a society, eventually it will happen to everyone, so why does no one ever talk about it?
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At 3:43pm on February 19, 2010, Laura Villarreal said…
Bianca, I am so sorry for the heavy burden of losses you bear. I am at the other end of that spectrum...while there have been expected losses in my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles) I still have my parents and my siblings. However, my 33 daughter (my only child) was killed on Memorial Day last year while riding a 4 wheeler. Parents never expect to outlive their children and the pain is horrendous. The comforts you mention are a big deal! We are forced to redefine who we are and it is very hurtful and difficult. I believe you will find this website to be very helpful...sincerely, Laura
 
 
 

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So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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