I am so sorry for your loss. My mother passed almost  2 years ago and that was  the beginning of a very long journey for me. She went quickly like you mother. The doctor told me that I did everything right but I felt I had failed her somehow. My mom never did anything "fast". Her leaving me here to deal with everything really did a number on me. I am just now able to focus on her final wishes and dealing with all the legal stuff.

You will find your way. Everyone deals with this in their own way. I still cry at the drop of a hat as they used to say. I have never cried this much in my entire life. My father died 2 weeks before my 11th birthday. My mother taught me how to honor our loved ones by visiting their gravesites. I carry on this tradition now.

Sorry for the long winded sad story. I am feeling sad this week. My mother was diagnosed with aplastic anemia the Saturday after Thanksgiving 2 years ago and I was her fulltime caregiver until she passed away.