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Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family.  I share that path with you.  I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my mind she was the woman that I would marry.  She too succumbed to injuries from an auto accident.  We had such a deep connection and then it was ripped away.  I never expected to face the bitter side of being so intertwined as when it was taken away.  I felt SO isolated with her absence.  I wasn't family, we weren't married, just (JUST) a friend.  Her family was not outwardly exclusionary, most of my isolation was even self-imposed.  I mean how does a parent process the loss of their child, I didn't want to add to their unhappiness.  I have re-connected with her family, especially her sister who has an absolute heart of gold, but it took 30 years and a bit of explaining as to why I had been absent for so long.  I have taken my college-aged daughter to most (if not all) the times that I got together with her sister.  In the back of my mind, her sister is as close to an aunt as possible.  It is wierd, I'll admit, but I have wanted her sister to know my family as if it was her extended family too.  Sorry for the rant...just been in a bit of a low point.  Jen's birthday is in Feb and needless to say, I am glad it is a short month.