Mike,

There is nothing about grief that is easy.  I speak from experience.  I knew my husband since 2nd grade, was his high school sweetheart and didn't realize then what I did ten years later and then we were together again for 35.  It has been 7 years since his death (he was 63, I was 61).  I am a shell of my former self.  At this point I am so tired of explaining to everyone how I can still be so broken when things start coming at me that I am not equipped to deal with like I used to.  My coping strategy is crying.  I cry when I meet an obstacle more than just something mundane.   I have become more and more a hermit.  Easier that way although I still have to interact with people on a regular basis I try to avoid or reduce my exposure.  

I have a friend who is a widow and her coping strategy is anger.  The best I can suggest is to just take things a moment at a time.  And many, if not most of those moments, are excruciatingly difficult.  You have been transported to another universe but everything still looks familiar.  DOn't be fooled.  This is the zombie universe.  Grief has its own timeline so don't expect much of yourself.  This is and will be the hardest thing I have ever done, bar none.  I don't believe in a god so I have gone to physics to try to help me explain why.  Not much more help than a god but I do feel there is something else very "science" happening that we are enduring here on this small location.  

I used to write here ALL the time.  Now I barely have the energy but I felt compelled to reach out. A lot of the old folks who used to write are probably like me.  Too tired to interact.  Too wiped out and exhausted from the grief of it all.  Do the best you can and know that is what it is.  It's treacherous and grueling and more than we ever anticipated.  All of us want to die and you will be no different.  Try to read other websites that help explain it and maybe a group grief group will be helpful in the interim.  Most of us have tried all the different techniques but none solve the basic problem.  Our love died........worst thing ever........

Morgan