Hello Deborah,

Sorry you had to find your way here.  I lost my wife in January, 2018 at age 67.  We were together since age 16, married at 19, have 4 children and 8 grands.  Speaking for myself, there is no moving forward in this life.  I belong to the Lost My Spouse Group which lists 370 member right now.  However, only about ten regularly post there.  One thing we share in common is the hope that when it's our day to pass over, we'll be reunited eternally with our Loves.  My children and grands are doing fine since the time has past.  Yes, they are concerned for me and do miss their mother.  I want and expect that as we too lost our parents and went on to enjoying our lives together.  In the beginning, I tried counseling and bereavement groups.  That didn't work for me.  I live alone and before this lock down, visited with my children and grands.  I think they grieve my grief now and know that I will never recover from missing my wife's physical presence here with me.  I firmly believe she is spiritually with me and we will reunite when my time comes.  There is no "moving forward" for me other than that.  Almost 40 years ago I had an OBE/NDE which I won't describe here but is described in some of my prior posts.  It was also published by the NDERF.  I believe we have a Creator.  He/She/It, and called by many names by different religions.  I pray every day to God, Jesus, whoever.  Some pray to Allah, Mohamed or whatever they call the Creator.  It's One and the same.  My prayers are to take me to my Love as soon as possible, and that she is feeling blissful as I did when I had my experience.  Thing is, the Creator doesn't kill so I must suffer and wait till that day comes, and it will come.  Time stands still for me.  There is no moving forward for me.  All I can do is try to help my children financially, and lovingly, in this uncertain time, while I wait.  Keep your faith and hope in Jesus.  Join, read and post on the Lost My Spouse group.  Their we post how we are feeling and no one judges, just identifies with the feelings.

Joe