Rick,

I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having to live.  As I have written here before  I function way better than I used to for the first four years plus, but things have slowly changed.  I am certainly still as broken as I've ever been and it is very easy for me to cry every day over something that will trigger my emotion.  But I mainly wonder whether you are still missing your wife as much as I do my husband.  Not many people come here later into the years of grieving their spouse. I don't know what happens to alot of them.  There are some who still look and periodically post.  I know everyone's situation is different, some have children, others have faith I have neither but I was in a 35 year marriage /55 year knowing my husband. It was deep and he was my everything.  Nothing will ever be the same.  But again, most recently I am just so angry that I have been left here to have to live.  I want out of life and yet because I have yet to do something to myself,  I am in prison.  Earthly prison.  Anyhow I was just curious how you came to be here after being an eight year widower and is it still hard to be left behind?  I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.  Just thought I'd ask as I guess I am always looking for answers to help myself.