Linda,

I am so sorry you have had to join our grieving group.  Each of us know your sorrow and we all grapple with how to deal with the worst thing we could ever have to deal with.  On January 21st 2013 my husband doc 35 years (knew him for 55) died and I am functioning better at doing the basics of life but the need to have a reason for making my life worthwhile again still evade me.  I have done what I have had to do to what I call "pay bills" but the cost of living has gotten incredibly heavy.  I long for my own death and at 67 I can hope it will be sooner rather than later.  

There are so many things I could impart but the best thing I could do is encourage you to read here and find others who grieve.  They will understand your pain.  It helps to know others suffer just like you are.  It is about the only and best thing that may give you a way to understand what has happened.  Nothing for me has done much more.  

Best I can say is take it a moment at a time.  For the early years of your sorrow that will be about all you can do.  Just know that is normal.  Nothing compares to this and you will hurt.  Like you never imagined.  Do the best you can.  We understand.......

Morgan