Dear Stacy,

     Your job as mom is very difficult - explaining death and helping them with their feelings will take insight and discernment. Part of an article I thought might help:

How to Explain Death
Some researchers say that when talking to a child about death, parents should be careful about using such terms as “sleeping,” “lost,” or “gone away.” Using such expressions without explaining or qualifying them may confuse a young child. Of course, Jesus used sleep as an illustration for death and fittingly so. Remember, though, that he was not speaking to children. Further, he explained the illustration. Jesus told his followers: “Lazarus our friend has gone to rest.” The disciples, grown-ups though they were, “imagined [Jesus] was speaking about taking rest in sleep.” So Jesus clarified the matter: “Lazarus has died.” (John 11:11-14) If adults need such clear explanations, how much more so do our children!

“A parent may try to soften her language when explaining death to her child,” say authors Mary Ann Emswiler and James P. Emswiler, “but by doing so, she may plant ideas in his head that weren’t there before and that may be frightening or harmful.” For instance, simply telling a young child that a deceased loved one is only sleeping may cause the child to fear that if he goes to sleep at night, he may not wake up again. If told only that a deceased loved one has “gone away,” a young child may feel rejected or abandoned.
When trying to explain death to a child, many parents have found that children understand simple, direct words more readily than they do abstract concepts or euphemisms. (1 Corinthians 14:9) Researchers recommend that you encourage your child to ask questions and talk about his concerns. Frequent conversations may help you to clear up misunderstandings and could reveal other ways to assist your child.

There is more to the article and I would like to share it with you, if it is ok . .

Just let me know.

Sincerely,

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

www.grief-and-comfort.com