Thank you for writting back to me,

I just send you a friend request. It feels real comforting to know that I am not alone and you as well as others here understand how I feel. I dont really know when all of the pain will get bettter? since it just feels as time passes by and the pain is much more due to reality kicking in that my husband is no lnoger here.

Thank you for reading,

Amanda

Karen,

Thank you very much for replying back. I am in a big dark tunnel that I feel lost and as if I will never see a light. I have never been inside this tunnel ever before nor do I wish it on anyone. My son who is 2 years old keeps me moving through my day but cant help the tears when I watch him growing and developing and hurts so much that my husband is not here to see this. Our lives were not suppose to turn out this way. I have really turned out into a different person. I am an angry person and frustrated on how things turned out for my life. I am even jeoulous of other's lifes and on how happy and filled they are. Enjoying their spouses, their children, their "whole" family. While I am now alone and young widow at the age of 27. I can say that I have not lost my faith but have somehow been disappointed. I pray everynight for God to help me cope with my pain and also for Justice to be rendered for those who took away my husband's life. But I can be honest and say that since his passing I have not been to church.

Thanks for reading,

Amanda